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Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  September 2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat: 

To subscribe to this newsletter,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

I have returned from a wonderful time on the Eurasian continent. It was summer all the way, and I could forget all the damage on the farm after three years of close to constant rain. The sunny welcome was a great relief, and yes, September is a good time to return to the Pocket.

I think I will continue being part of the Beijing Project, in all ways I can.  Much is possible even from here.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

 

Dear Emma, you ask about a child who has an illness that has put her in a wheelchair at only three years of age.

I don’t know if this is about working systemically what I am saying here.

This is immensely painful of course. I knew two such girls with a short life expectancy in my childhood. One girl knew it clearly and lived day by day with increasing disability of the body, and she even lived till she was twenty. She knew her life would be short in all likelihood, the crippling progressed steadily. Her family, including siblings, could accept it. They had learned to live with death looking around the corner, and even with the increasing degree of discomfort of her daughter.

My brother used to work with disabled children with a limited life expectation. I was amazed how well he related to them with warm humour, treating them like any other children, too. They loved him.
Is this child in contact with other children in wheelchairs?

The other child in my extended family could not crawl or walk because she had glass bones. These parents were inconsolable. They had no other child and were too frightened to have more. Such a fate is eased in a larger family of more children and also generations.

Bert says in such situations that fate wants to accepted. All the forms of struggle against this need to happen, too. Acceptance comes more easily when all forms of wrestling with death have been tried and exhausted. We want to wrestle with fate, with God, even.

Bert describes most touchingly a reverse situation where a boy cannot face the fact that his father is dying. He guides the boy through many feelings, and even through his rage against death. The resolution comes after that. The boy realizes that he cannot really lose his father, and the father will not ever lose him. He promises his father to do something with his life. And eventually, he will join him, but only then.

One thing we do not have to fight for is the bond of love. These “early accomplished” -as Bert’s beloved poet Rilke calls them - children are often quite wise and strong. Sometimes they also see departed family members.

Bert makes it clear that a short life does not mean, this person misses out on life. We all come and go. And on the other side, life continues in another form anyway.

An angel of transition might be a much nicer companion for such a child than a grim reaper. But if the parents and other close people can work through their feelings, even their rage, acceptance becomes a friend eventually. Then every day can be a blessing.

Acceptance will oscillate with non-acceptance. Once acceptance gains the upper hand it will be much easier. If the parents can tell their little girl, that she will always be their lovely child, here or there, and that they will always be her loving parents, grandparents and whatever other relatives…then some degree of strain can ease. The parents may of course also embrace the concept of reincarnation. So it might just be an early farewell until one meets again. And then there are the family members who are presently on the other side.

I had quite a number of constellations where parents had lost one or even two children at a young age. In one constellation all four children of a family were placed, and the two who were born last and who were alive each went to one of the dead children and said very clearly, looking to their parents: This is me!

The same happened to a friend of mine, When he was a boy, he was asked to stay over with an auntie. She had lost her son, but my friend did not know that. She made up a bed  for him in the room that was her son’s. My friend saw a photo of this other boy hanging on the wall, and instantly called out: What, this is me on this picture!

So if people are inclined that way, they can tell the child and themselves that they will be together again.

If there will be younger siblings later on, it is important to make sure this new child is not automatically assumed to be the other child, but is accepted as a new person in the family. otherwise this child may have problems with his or her identity. Only the child itself has the right to make that claim.

What matters most of all is that death does not have the power of cutting through belonging. With such a young child it might be nice to talk about the other side in terms that a child understands. And perhaps the parents can learn to be more open, so when the time comes, they may be able to sense their child around them.

It is important also that the child can express her feelings at any time, and not feel isolated. She might also have her struggles with her fate. Then the family can join her and go through it together, until solace comes. There are many lovely books about such situations.

We naturally struggle with the fact that someone one or two generations younger should be taken to the other side first. And this illness is a stern reminder of this.

The rest of the family can at times also tell her how they feel but only  after they expressed their feelings to each other and found some balancing emotion. Then there needs to be the sensitivity when to speak about it and when to enjoy what the day brings.

Such a fate is a tough discipline. It may take a very long time until we can see that we grew through it.

 

www.family-constellations.org      angelika.schenk@gmail.com     
 
 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  August 2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
I am away in Europe for the summer months there, seeing family and friends and visiting Russia
and as it happened, China as well.

To subscribe to this newsletter,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

I only knew in July that I would spend the second half of August in China. just had enough time to get the visa. Well I don't  regret it. It was a wonderful experience. Bert had already had a stunning welcome in 2002 in China, from Hong Kong to Guangzhou, to Shang Hai and Beijing. Even men turned around to us Europeans, with tears in their eyes and their hands in prayer gesture.

At the conference on family constellations on the 29th of August I was one of the people invited to give a talk about it. Here it is:

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

 

 

Healing the past for a future of love

Bert Hellinger’s FAMILY-CONSTELLATIONS

A path of spiritual reconciliation 28th  August 2013 

My name is Angelika Schenk. I have been a close student of Bert Hellinger’s since 2001, and from 2007 on  I have also been his translator into English, of more than 25 books, and he still keeps on writing.

I am very happy to have the opportunity to give you this small introduction to his work. I have experienced how well his work has been received in China, wherever we went. I saw even men cry in recognition of what the Chinese soul perhaps already knows from its own wise men.

My gratitude for making this possible goes to my dear old friend Mr. She, for inviting me to work with him, and to my dear new friend, Prof. Dr. Shi, and to the kind chairman Ye who wrote me a letter of invitation for my visa to China. I asked my dear friend Mr. She, to read the text out in Mandarin. This way you can receive more information in the short time-span allocated to the talk.

Bert Hellinger has been a deeply spiritual human being ever since his childhood. Born in Germany in 1926, he experienced the pre-war time as a child, and then war as a school boy. As a young man of 17 he experienced war and combat in Belgium, and then war captivity.

This brought a shocking large scale reality home to him in a drastic way, the horrendous suffering of human beings.

After escaping from war captivity, he entered a spiritual order to lead a life of contemplation and service. His active service expressed itself first as a missionary priest in South Africa ,where he became the principal of a high school for students who wanted to become priests also.

After many years he sensed he had to involve himself in psychotherapy. This eventually lead to an amicable departure from this order. The same guiding spirit now led him to study the human soul in its depth.

So he had a look at just about every modern western therapy of that time. Some of them he studied and experienced deeply, including group dynamics, psychoanalysis and primal therapy.

But it was to be family therapy in the form of family-constellations that should become the method that is capable of evolving into a deeply spiritual path of healing, in the form of spiritual reconciliation.

Since then, family-constellations have come a long way in Bert Hellinger’s soul.

The impulse for its origin was in a family therapy that had this name.

Bert Hellinger participated in a workshop where representatives of family members were placed in the circle, where they stood motionless.

Bert Hellinger soon noticed that he could feel the feelings of the actual family member he was representing, without knowing anything about them whatsoever.

He had experienced that we are deeply interconnected, without any outer communication at all. This understanding became the reliable helper to return the peace and restore the love between family members. Now even the dead could be included.

In his own work, Bert Hellinger soon discovered that if the representatives were also allowed to move as they felt from inside, slowly and in a recollected way, deeper feelings emerged, and sometimes even erupted. The feelings that erupted always belong to factual, deeply traumatic events. Pain comes from there, and so does the healing from this pain.

Bert Hellinger discovered that the surface feelings of disharmony and complaints that are felt by us as the living, are a clouded and distorted, complex, mirror image of real events in the past. (This does of course not apply to the feelings of people that arose from their own traumatic experiences in this life. Then the emotional load is more complex, and the present trauma needs to be eased first.)

Tragic deaths  and other trauma in the family send their resonance down the generations, in the form of confusing emotions, many symptoms of behaviour, illnesses, and even repeated tragedy. What we need to do is to bring the feelings into connection with the events, and help the reconciliation process.

Family-constellations make it possible to go into the deeper feelings that always relate to painful facts. Such as war events and catastrophes of nature.

Tragic events consist of two or more sides that become alienated from each other. Often fate is one side.

So the reason for reconciling is very clear. Two opposing parts are helped to come together. This brings peace for a new beginning.

The words of the two great spiritual teachers tell us about this.  

If we do not know about the painful events, we cannot consciously relate the two, and instead, we put these feelings on our living family members. So the unhealed deep pain of our ancestors often distorts our emotional connection with ourselves and other family members, and many other connections. This deep pain was too much to bear for our ancestors, and it comes out in many forms. And we don’t know what to do. Even if we know some facts, we can feel helpless about what to do in the face of such trauma.

Bert Hellinger always finds a common sense solution. And for his method he found an ingenious way: Whatever he does, it is so simple and clear that one wonders why it was not found before. And it applies in every culture.

Reconciliation and healing of the soul merged into one in Hellinger’s soul and spirit, and along this path he has been guided to ever further expansion to spread love and good will. By now family-constellations are a tool that can be applied to just about any issue of the human soul in families and any kind of groups, sometimes just like a drop of a herbal medicine.

The two great peace teachers of humanity stand by, for those of us who want them to.

It is good if the people seeking a constellation do their family tree beforehand, to the extent they have, or can find, information. Constellations only require the information about the traumatic events that family members including ancestors had to suffer through.

The most amazing and reliable tool in this work is that we can trust our capacity to feel other people’s feelings. So we do not usually work directly with the client, but with representatives. It is often easier for them to feel the deep feelings. And the same goes for all other family members and other people that need to be represented. In the beginning the burdened feelings are expressed through them, whilst the client watches in amazement. 

As the reconciliation happens step by step, deeper feelings are reached, the real trauma surfaces, and reconciliation can proceed further.

Sometimes one session can achieve peace for an individual. But is it useful to also apply this method to further uncomfortable feelings and symptoms, for they all carry a painful event waiting to return to peace.

This way we can bring more and more ease and harmony into our life, and not just within ourselves, but also amongst our groups.

The wisdom of applying the benefit of a therapy to ourselves first is so obvious. Our own experience is invaluable. There is hardly a human being without a traumatic event in their past. We need to have a good degree of clarity in our feelings to help others reach it.

So family-constellations begin with the family, and we can go down the family tree as far as we like. This means, to some degree, we can even help to heal history, to the extent to which we have allowed ourselves to be transformed by the soul and guided by the spirit.

We experience that the ancestors are willing to come, to allow reconciliation of the tragic events of their times, to experience peace again, and to give their blessings to the living. Nourished with their support we can move forward to greater peace and harmony together, in the family, in larger groups, in our nation, and amongst the nations.

Family-constellations are helpful in any field of works and institution also. It can help to increase harmony and good cooperation. Schools, teachers and students, for instance,  would benefit greatly.

Presently I am translating Bert Hellinger’s book on children that cannot apply themselves at school. This book would be a very good guide for teachers. Teachers, together with parents and a family-constellations practitioner, to guide them for a while, can uncover many learning difficulties in children and help them reach reconciliation. The problem is always something unreconciled that is awaiting its healing. The “difficult” children are like a key. They carry the symptoms.  

Over time, the reconciled state sinks deeply into our soul as a new reality. We feel more whole and complete. The reconciled events have found rest in us. And increasingly, we can approach our whole life this way, in the spirit of good will and peace. Eventually, the way of Bert Hellinger’s constellation work grows into some very natural skill. We perceive many things, we feel guided, and we trust the good outcome will happen.

And here in China I have already met many people who radiate such warmth on a community level.

With Bert Hellinger’s method they will perhaps be even better equipped to spread their dedicated work more widely, because family-constellations are also a very time efficient tool.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to spread my beloved teacher’s dedicated work a little further. It brings me great joy.

With my best wishes to the people of China 
Angelika Schenk                          

www.family-constellations.org      angelika.schenk@gmail.com     
 
 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  JULY 2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
I am away in Europe for the summer months there, seeing family and friends and visiting Russia

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

July was the month set aside for Russia. It brought me the most peaceful month in a long time, a hundred km north of Moscow, as a member of a very sweet family, including grandmother who looks after everyone, and I got lovingly scolded like anyone else. In a lovely little housing area where people have the most wonderful gardens. even from the photo of Ivan's parents' house I fell in love with the attic on the third floor, which became my room for a month. Life in the country is so peaceful in this neck of the Russian woods. Bert was with me in spirit, as he had just sent me a wonderful book to translate, about children that needed help.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

 

Dear all,

This is quite personal, but the setting is far from a merely personal matter, but then, it is rather very personal for many others also, all those who lost their fathers brothers uncles lovers husbands there, and all the men who had fought there and survived, never to be the same again, let alone the civilians of the city who were all but wiped out. 

I returned from Russia a few days ago. Going to Volgagrad was a momentous event for my family. My father died three years ago, and I took 8 of his paintings to Russia, which he had dedicated to Russia anyway, and I felt the Panorama Museum in Volgagrad was the right place for them.

Three Russian friends, a mother and two sons took me all the way from north of Moscow to the beloved city by the Volga. I had been there the first time in 2005. And I had felt so incredibly at home there. This time it was the same. I would have loved to stay there, at least during the summer months, and do workshops in the Panorama museum.

Well sadly my friends could not allocate more time. But the magic happened in accord with the limited time. On Thursday the boys sent the first email to the museum, on Friday the photos of the paintings went out, together with a short description. On Saturday the meeting in the museum was set for Monday 11.30, and on Sunday morning 6am we set out on a journey, all the 1000 km to Volgagrad in one go. Well, I realize that’s normal in Australia. We had a piece of equipment called “Marchroute” in Russian, and Navigator in English. The Marchroute had nothing to do on the 1000 km journey, which was straightforward in every way.

I was introduced to the Marchroute on my first outing to a lake nearby Ivan’s family home. I could not believe this name, as I explained to them that this is a perfectly military name invented by Napoleon. But his Marchroute was not electronically passed on. Though that’s not the main reason why he had to turn around in Russia some 200 years ago. I could not believe the Russians picked this word, so I joked calling our trip a reconnaissance under cover mission, with the marching orders:

Marchroute M4 and M6 from Moscow to Stalingrad.

My Russian friends laughed and joined in. There is a quote by Karl Marx that I am very fond of: "The last form of a historical event is its comedy. why is this so? So that humanity may Part from its past serenly 

Playing Marchroute after millions of war-dead must mean that we are sure it’s over. I always felt safe in Russia. But then, so did my father, as far as the civilian population was concerned. And they were safe from him, too.

But as we approached Volgagrad, where we could have done with a bit of directions in the pitch dark, the devious thing showed us a trick or two. It lead us astray on the last 80 km or so. I made a number of attempts to convince the mother driver to let us resort to our maps, but her faith in the March-route was impeccable, so we ended up on dirt roads with no houses or even sheds anywhere, but many potholes instead. Now the boys helped  to convince our driver to do one U-turn. After driving in the wrong direction for a long time again, thanks to the devious Marchroute, back north, which was decisively wrong, we suddenly saw the Volga to our right, Not even that made any impression on our driver. An hour later, thanks to the determination of our driver to keep on driving no matter what, after crossing the Volga a few times, our subjective sense of direction and that of the Marchroute were suddenly in sync again. But marchroute had one more trump up its sleeves. As we sensed we were near our hotel, it decided to take us there via little garden paths that were suitable for walking during daytime (that’s probably where the English expression, leading someone up the garden path, may have come from)

Now these garden paths were definitely not suitable for a nice clean new city car. So we took out of the car what we needed, locked it, and proceeded on foot, frequently asking night-owls passers-by for further directions. After navigating the rest of the journey more or less step by step, we had a stretch of road in front of us, and yes, we had  arrived at our hotel,  around midnight. It was a lovely moonlit, warm, and dry summer night.

We could see the Volga from our window. It was a homecoming for me, close to unbearable love. It was beautiful weather, a feeling akin to the Mediterranean, but far more ancient and so vast. So full of promise.

In the last years of his life, my father kept saying, he should have stayed in Russia, and in the end he claimed that after the war he built himself a little hut on the banks of the Volga and lived there peacefully. The next morning we took a newly bought map of the city with us that we could hold in our hands, hereby able to correlate abstract instructions, upside – down or downside-up, with actual streets and city- marks, and having the Volga to our left at all times, which meant clearly meant we were going south, as we should be. And  we arrived in time.
The museum was closed to the public, as it was Monday. What a surprise, we were greeted by many, taken to different rooms and finally into what they call the holy hall, where all their war heroes have their place.

And there were a lot of people already waiting, and at least ten reporters, with excellent cameras and microphones. Four of them were from government TV channels. Rossia 1 is the second biggest national channel. They all broadcast the handing over of the paintings and the interviews, for the six o’clock evening news. What touched me the most was their warmth. I gave the beautiful director a big  hug, to which he responded with much warmth. But that was not broadcast.

I was glad that they broadcast the bit where I say,  that Stalingrad is a holy place where the soldiers knew they weren’t enemies.

I go on to say that I had this dream where the soldiers were sitting in a large circle, Russian soldier German soldier… They broadcast that much.

But when I continue to say, that their circle is formed around the people of Stalingrad, and that all the soldiers cry together over what they have done to the people (at least 450 000 died) , and the most shocking bit in the dream was that the Russian soldiers said it was their fault also, if they had stopped fighting, the Germans would also have stopped fighting…

We were given a private tour through the museum and an invitation to come back any time. They also wanted to know more about my father. As he wrote his autobiography, this will be easy.  I should have taken some of his ashes… Well perhaps life allows me to go there once more if I may, and then I will stay much longer. I said to the boys, that next time I will take a tent and camp by the Volga. They said they will join me. They also fell in love with this calm timeless place, that isn’t even phased by the traffic. (A little later I remembered that my father told people in his last years of life that he lived there for years, in a little hut.)

My father has no grave. I should have taken some of his ashes also. But hr left a fair bit of blood there, anyway.

My disappointment was that my father who for the first two years after his death told me frequently that I should come to Russia, and he would meet me. I really expected him to tell me what to say to the people in the museum, but he did not come. He only sent me a message that he could not come.

 

These are the links to the broadcasts

www.volgograd-trv.ru/flashN.aspx?id=23910

http://ahtubatv.ru/2013/07/16-ekspoziciya-muzeya-panoramy-
popolnilas-kartinami-nemeckogo-soldata/

http://www.volgograd-mtv.ru/news/kultura/24122/

 

check the www.stalingrad-battle.ru 

you can use google translate, it gives you an  idea of the content.

The website has two great panorama pages,

1 one for the hill that is a memorial with the towering figure of mother russia

this one is an article in the www.stalingrad-battle.ru   website about the museum receiving the paintings.

http://www.stalingrad-battle.ru/index.php?option=com_content&view
=article&id=1112:2013-07-15-10-18-51&catid=4:2009-04-21-06-28-00&Itemid=6

2 and the one below for the panorama museum

http://www.stalingrad-battle.ru/docs/tour_pan/msb_tour.html

Here you see the panorama museum, which caught one day near the end, 26th january 43, I think and you can also catch a glimpse of her majesty the Volga.

The two panorama presentations are pretty amazing.

If you go through the links on the left hand column, click on this one. or start with google translate,

Виртуальные экскурсии   virtual excursion
Мамаев курган  mamajew kurgan  the battle hill memorial with the huge statue.  

Музей-панорама   panorama museum  

 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  JUNE  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
I am away in Europe for the summer months there, seeing family and friends and visiting Russia

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

As I am in Europe now, it seems the most useful thing to me to offer my impressions on how the second wealthiest continent is doing. From here we can draw conclusions on how the rest fares. I am talking about the changes in the last three years. A Chinese constellation friend and I agree that we should encourage constellations about the bigger picture.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

 

Dear old and new friends, 

June took me to Poland, which was home to my family before WW2. Now that the cold war is definitely thawing another problem arrives. it has war connotations in another sense. Poland has the fate to be located  between Germany and the Russian countries to the east. No guns are blazing any more, one is not frightened any more at a boarder crossings, but visa matters are still an ordeal, or else, very costly.

And how are the Poles doing? it is shocking. How shocking it is is expressed in the feeling that many people there feel they were thrown from the fry pan into the fire. In the old days there were castles to make clear who rules the country. in good days there were at least of the same ethnicity, in the bad times you knew who was occupying you. Now one just has to look at what kind of buildings dominate the cities and what kind of massive structures cut up the countryside.

Lodz, once a beautiful city with a boulevard of exquisite buildings, with many small lovely shops, is now a deadened mall of what? Shops? No, of banks. the steeple of the cathedral is dwarfed by an ugly brown money factory. Moat Polish people cannot afford to go shopping, their visits to the banks are of a sinister nature. The banks are the grim reapers for many. city bank and the likes take from the desperate. Many people are nor far from eviction from their modest little flat. all you need to end up in despair is a sick family member. For health insurance is dwindling away in the sand. A shockingly large percentage of poles, the main bread winners, have to go abroad, to all kinds of European countries. Wherever you look at some bus stops there are tears of parting, again at least for three months, if it is the father, then for longer.

The other monster is called economic progress, but for whom? The average Poles cannot make ends meet. But the oligarchs, and this is the word people use, are doing well. Poland looks like a developing country, visually there is a two tier society. the normal country is dwarfed by high rise buildings of the invading oligarchs, who cooperate with the entrepreneurial Poles. And what are they doing? They carve Poland up in between the massive freeways that wind through the country everywhere, mostly as a west to east invasion of unadulterated capitalism at a new height of power, imperialism the way not even Lenin had envisaged it with his foresight. These dragon roads with their roaring road dragons, often with metal sheet fencing on both sides, cutting up the local traffic to a standstill. The same trucks one meets one could easily meet in the countries to the east, all the way deep into Russia.

And you, beloved seer? 

What do you say? 

God wills conflict as much as peace?

Looks like it, doesn't it?

And what can we do?

Stay in the great love?

How does that help? 

You mean we need to remain in tune with the larger picture 
so we sense any opening in a helpful direction?

So we have to take things as they are and keep our hearts wide open  ?

And say yes to every challenge that comes our way?

Because God is the God 

not only of creation, 

but also of eternal recreation, 

with a  breath much longer

than ours?

And if we stand still amidst of all this sabre rattling, do we perhaps get a hint?

So, welcome to the world of oligarchial pluralism. And China just bought up large chunks of agricultural land in Ukraine. The rich get on in a gentleman- like fashion, dancing around one another exhibiting their plumage, keeping the claws drawn in for the momnet. Democracy is in fashion. In its  consumerism version it serves them well, it is okay, no? Never mind the population in the long run. As long as the "buy and sell" thing works. Endlesslybetter than bombs and guns? Well we produce and sell them as comsumer goods to the highest bidder, and the rest we sell to the other side. Keeps the rich countries going and the rest of them fighting. In fact, the fashion of the day is: Everything goes. I suppose, but this might be a system that drags on, for it is driven by worldwide greed of the few. The poor, above all the Africans, are simply pushed into an inhabitable region and left to their demise. poor people are of no value, as one does not need many unskilled workers and slaves any more. Dear God, do you want this? What about our sweet planet? Is it your wish to make it inhabitable? What about all your creatures? Do you know the outcome?

                          

 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  May  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first Saturday 
in May 


I will be away in Europe for the summer months there, seeing family and friends and visiting Russia.

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

In Australia we just had our ANZAC Day.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

Soldiers are still called heroes for what they did or had to do in previous times.  At least in those countries that believe the soldiers fought (and died) for a righteous cause.
Most soldiers, apart from legionaries, want to fight for a righteous cause. And righteous is what the rulers of your country tell you and make you believe it is.

Later on it might not look quite so righteous any more.

In the last century a movement began to dare question the blind assumption that God, King, Country, political persuasion, wish to expand, annex, and conquer for your own country are noble and legitimate motives. You act in the interest of your own group, at the detriment of another.
So by now, the ANZAC day Australians are the veterans who fought in Korea, and in Vietnam, apart from contemporary missions. They were told, they fight communism, and this is a noble and necessary thing. It was the cold war. The big powers fought each other in small countries. Split up a little country, and see which side can claim them for their own interests.

The results we know. The shame and the grief about atrocities committed happens in the small print, if at all...

We can do constellations on anything that is about human relationships. Perhaps you think , international affairs are too far from constellation work. Well, in my experience, the  movement of the spirit work even on that level. I spent time in South Korea, and I saw its plea.

And I know what is called madness by people who see themselves as superior, is unacknowledged brutality suffered.. Constellations in the larger field are about healing deep rifts, and thereby restoring and increasing the strength, benevolence, and good will towards other groups as well . This begins in the family, and it extends all the way to nations and continents.

  What helps heal trauma is a source of love and guidance that we trust, ideally starting with our own family. Yet most severe trauma is usually connected  to much bigger events, called war, in all its forms.

Trauma leaves many aspects of injury behind. Anything that happened in a traumatic way leaves its traces in those affected, individuals, groups, whole nations, even continents. How well human beings can recover depends on their resilience. On what does resilience depend? The length of exposure to Trauma also matters a lot. As far as I can guess from my experience, family and other support are of course helpful, but there is something less tangible.
 It is our spirit. Those being able to recover and start all over again, even in spite of considerable and irredeemable loss, seem to have a love for life and an indomitable spirit. Where the spirit survives, the individual is left with the most flexible and reliable resource.
But all too often in overwhelming trauma, our spirit is injured, we may have trouble finding our soul and reconnecting to it again.

Well, during the workshop in Korea we had a beautiful experience that confirmed something for me.

Bert began a constellation, 
I do not recall 
what it was about. 
The workspace was quite large, and so was the area 
inside the circle. 
Bert sat at one end of it, 
whilst at the other end of the hall a group of five people 
began to get into a tussle. 
This has never happened before. 

It looked a little serious.

Bert got up and walked very slowly, towards the centre. 
As he arrived there, 
I saw a golden light above him. there were a few Korean 
Buddhist monks and nuns

It seemed to me to be the light 
of the Buddha that used Bert  
(He himself did not notice anything, and he was surprised when I told him..) 
At the same moment, 
the fighting group 
looked over to Bert, 
stopped their fighting
and with their eyes 
glued to him, 
still all five in a bundle, 
 literally on all fours, 
they made their way 
over to where Bert was. 
When they got there, 
they clung to him,  
sobbing like children. 

I feel healing is one of the major keys to our further evolution, 
in our personal sphere as well as on our collective conscience.


Let us empty out forgotten bits in our pockets, hand the remnants over, 
with a sigh of relief: Now we can travel more lightly.  
Less and less obligation to condemn, to hate, to despise. 
Acknowledging an unhealed state, also in ourselves, will do. 

Eventually our goal might be not to act out of fear and violence (conscience) 
but creatively, out of caring for the whole, out of love (consciousness)

Well this is how I see it. Only conscious love will mellow us.
There are great promises on the wide open horizon. Let us sow.

with love from Geli

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even a country can loose its soul, and its spirit, and some countries perhaps had not had enough time for a new soul to grow strong. Ghosts come to haunt nations that have not dealt with the effects that wars have, be they the crimes, the things they could not prevent, the actions they were forced to carry out, the madness they succumbed to, even believing in their aggressive missions. Interestingly, we only call some actions war crimes.

Wars leave many individuals insane. But also nations. We have a term for mental illness, called split personality. The other one is psychosis.

Wise Bert does not ask much about symptoms, and does not go into judgments about it. He asks: “What happened?” Knowing symptoms only helps where we can relate them to their cause. We must always find the real causes. They are not on the level of psychology, but on the level of real life events, with real life effects, like murder.

Well, this is a lengthy introduction to something I wanted to say about Korea, for it was, and quite likely will be, on the news in regular intervals.

Poor Korea was simply positioned in a fated place on the planet. Koreans have lived there in between superpowers who all wanted to have more than what they did have already: Korea.

On a constellation journey with Bert we had just finished in Vladivostok, where Bert did the amazing Stalin constellation. Without a single word. Everybody was touched to the core. Many born after Stalin’s time, whilst still feeling the suffering of generations, really felt the real terror for the first time.

That night I found a wonderful website about Korea, written by an American whose parents were both involved in the Korean war. What an amazing gift of reconciliation this website is!

So I read what I could. The worst experience in the deeper past were the Mongolians, in their formidable ferociousness.

Korea’s ruler had just decided to make Buddhism his country’s religion. As far as I know Buddha’s name has never been used as a war cry. Also, the Koreans had a soul animal, the white tiger, a very highly evolved being that communicated with the Buddha.

Amongst many other atrocities, the Mongolians raped women en masse, something that was a new experience for the Koreans, and worse, they took many women with them.

Some women survived and even found their way home, after a long journey. The men were wondering how to relate to the desecrated women. The ruler retired, to consult with the white tiger, who consulted with Buddha. So thanks to higher intervention, Korea as a whole could recover.

So the ruler declared that the women bathe in the well, and they shall be pure again. The people were happy and grateful for this wisdom.

Korea had been given a soul, for the time was ripe.

Now we jump to the beginning  of the 20th century. Around the turn of the century, imperialism, the desire to take other people as slaves and other countries as your own, was in full swing in Asia as well.

By late summer 1904, Korea had become, in all but name, a part of the Japanese Empire. It was used as Japan’s war production camp. 

The world ignored Korean pleas for help against Japan.  As Japan tightened its grip, Koreans resisted Japanese regulations and reforms.  Korean exiles and numerous anti-Japanese guerrilla groups formed to continue the struggle for independence.

When Japan was finally brought down to its knees at the end of WW2, many Koreans had died from hunger and abuse, and their country was utterly depleted of its resources.

Near the end of the WW2. the United States, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union established the concept of a Korean trusteeship at the Potsdam Conference.

And before the Koreans knew it, Stalinist Russia moved in from the North, somehow in cahoots with China, and the United States, with friendly helpers from other countries. moved in from the South.

Korea, an agrarian monarchy and former Japanese colony, had become a divided nation; insanely "communist" in the north, and so called “democratic” in the south. Which people are ruling over SouthKorea? The stage was set for the Korean War.

It was primarily the result of the political division of Korea by an agreement of the victorious Allies at the conclusion of the Pacific War at the end of WW2.

This war, fought by superpowers, now  budding arch-enemies in the cold war, over a small and battered country of which they all wanted at least a piece, if not all, to secure for themselves access to ports at the yellow sea. Because both sides were fairly equal in power, 3 years of gruesome war ensued, from  25 June 1950 to the end of the fighting on 27 July 1953, when the armistice agreement was signed.
The result on the map was the same as that at the beginning, the difference was enormous suffering endured and many casualties. A little country whose fate it was to be coveted business imperial powers.

To this day neither the north nor the south has a Peace treaty from any of them. This means, Korea has to live with a split on very many levels. Unification and independence is not in the interest of any of the superpowers.

So the so called democratic countries lean back, ridicule the North or play “The north is very dangerous”. The truth is different: “A chunk of Korea is very desirable.” Each one of them realizes they can’t have it all for themselves. China feeds the north. Russia plays friendly. The United States plays scared and indignant.. All in a gentlemen agreement about their interests.

When I was in Korea (south), I felt claustrophobic. At that time S-Koreans were very upset that their government wanted to accept pork meat from the United States, and not as a gift. It was swine flue time. My friends took me to where the demonstration was going to take place. They wanted me to participate. I felt quite uneasy. The tension was high. Something was building up.   A whole district was sealed. My friends took  a big detour and then entered the area of Seoul from the other side. There was not a soul to be seen, other than hoards of heavily armoured police. They were lying on their shields and not moving. They kindly pretended not to see us. I chose not to join the demonstration. I did not feel safe, and our plane was leaving the next morning. The next day I was told it got pretty wild, over 20000 people,  narrow space, and heavy waterguns.

The poor country, it has nobody whom it can trust. The north has to play the communist game, even though its ”benefactors” like to be seen as increasingly democratic and free themselves.

Then why do they have to play a very dirty game, especially with the North Korean people, ridiculed by Europeans as insane, used be their adversarial “protectors” and “helpers” pawns on a chessboard, in gentlemen agreement? The non-thinking world has been told of the immense danger of this little country, whilst it is completely dependent on China for practically all of its needs. China leans back in contentment. What on earth happened to Obama who had our heart when he began? He still had his own heart Perhaps in some ways he is not really much more powerful than Kim Jong-Un

Perhaps he has to obey too many people who have less than the good for all on their minds, just like North Korea’s protectors

Technically, the Korean Peninsula remains in a state of war because the three-year long Korean war ended in a truce, not a peace treaty, in 1953.

 North Korea claims the need to build atomic weapons to defend itself against the United States, which has 28,500 troops in South Korea and at the beginning of 2013 has been holding joint military drills with South Korea that have included nuclear-capable stealth bombers and fighter jets. There are also sources claiming North Korea does not have that capacity.

China and South Korea chastised Japan after  coincidentally close to the Anzac day more than 160 lawmakers visited Tokyo's Yasukuni Shrine this week. That followed a symbolic offering made by Abe to the shrine and a visit by Deputy Prime Minister Taro Aso and two other ministers 

Such visits, a regular occurrence during religious festivals, have long angered Asian nations where the scars of Japan's past militarism still run deep.

"We don't understand why Japanese society closes its eyes and covers its ears about pain and damage caused by its past invasion and colonial rule, while it treats honesty and trust as important values," Kim Kyou-hyun, South Korea's vice foreign minister, told the ambassador, according to the ministry.

“The recurring flare-ups in tensions between Japan, South Korea and China have been a source of concern for Washington, which is keen to secure cooperation from Seoul, Tokyo and Beijing in reining in reclusive North Korea.”

Why does Washington constantly want to rein in the North Koreans, when they know full well under what pressure they have to live? If they were the bringer of peace and progress, they would talk with the Russians and the Chinese about a decent peace treaty for both Koreas, and leave unification to them. I am sure it would happen. Only fear stops them

Why not simply include them as human beings that were forced into the position they are in now?

A Reuter’s news clip says the US wants to finish North Korea off. Makes sense, from their perspective, I must say.

Why do we, officially, on ANSAC day,  still honour the actions of Western soldiers in Korea as noble?

Perhaps they were seen as noble in the Korean war, but only for a little while, as the American documentaries painfully reveal.

Noble would have been: They all leave Korea in peace and support it to get back on its own feet, with both its right and its left leg,  that’s all it wants, freedom from oppression, freedom to just be Korea. If the United States are so noble, it could protect Korea from all the countries that want a chunk of it, or all.

North Korea is arguably the most isolated, and perhaps the most dependent country, if we want to call it that. Who is there to help its soul, who supports its healing? Can it happen while they don’t even have a peace treaty? Must they not obey their rulers, for fear of doom which they have experienced before?
Can we help Korea in a tiny way by looking at even the North with our hearts open, seeing their despair, their helplessness? Can we show them our compassion for its plea? Most south Koreans still hope for their end of the Iron curtain to be lifted. It is its last bastion

As a German who lived with an iron curtain, but nowhere near the despair of North Korea, I call out to them: “Hang in there! Don’t let them provoke you into things you would have to regret! Call on the White Tiger1 Look out for the light of the Buddha! Your day of release will come! You are not forgotten! Ask the Russians for help! For Gorbachow kind of help!” He helped us!”

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

 


    

 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  April  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The second Sunday in April (14th) 

If you would like to do a small group at Gayatri at some other date, just email me. 
We have enjoyed these groups for a while now, often even during the week.

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
f
or any questions, 
or to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

This is a a suggestion for a journey from conscience to consciousness. 

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

Bert considers his insights about conscience his outstanding  achievement. 

(I'd be happy to list a few more of equal weight.)

Bert says what conscience is, is what  we learn about the often only implied rules in our family, from a very young age on. We perceive instinctively what is seen as good and right, and what as bad and wrong.
Here is a blatantly obvious, even if perfectly harmless example: A grown up woman tells some friends, only half jokingly: “I was very naughty, I ate a whole bar of chocolate.”

We fear some sanctions if we veer away from the rules we intuit in our important groups, first of all in the family. So we try to tow the line. And many of us have gone through rebellion. Often because we feel we did not get the love we would have needed. But sometimes  we also rebel for someone else. Later we understand more, as we saw these rules and practices carried out before our very eyes, some we felt good about, others may have frightened us, for instance if we were hit, or badly put down in other ways. Or we saw someone in our family hurt another person. And it also applies to trivial things, how they were done in our family. If we grew up in a nation that was belligerent at the time, we would have had to look at fighting as a noble thing. If we did not feel that way, (perhaps because a grandmother told us otherwise, ) we either kept it a secret or rebelled against it, at our peril.

In our relatively cosy western society, on the whole, the fierceness of conscience is mellowing. Usually our parents, to the extent of their health and well being on all levels, give us more leeway.

Now Bert states that the rules of a family, group, nation, religion, even though only partly expressed, the rest transmitted in subtle ways, make up the  kind of  conscience we have. This means, a great deal of it is a gray area, and arbitrary. What one family praises, another family sanctions. We sense immediately where we deviated, through a “guilty conscience”. This can be worse, when one parent wants you to act and think one way, and the other opposes it.  Then balancing acts or outright refusal of participation ensues. But really, it is a very serious business. Even in our more relaxed culture we see a lot of remnants of more ferocious times. For instance. Many people still insist that moral indignation is a must in the face after serious abuse and violence. Our culture appears not to condone revenge, but what we call punishment is a kind of revenge, and getting very angry about people who broke what we see as basic human rules, is also revenge. We exclude those people, and we have a good conscience about that.

Our European society has, or at least had, so called Christian values. But really, it has been  badly corrupted by the Roman perpetrator society.  So relatively few  people survived, remaining purely with Jesus’ values, where relating, love, generosity, understanding, reforming, regretting, new beginnings would be the cornerstones. 
Our judicial system largely ends the old roman way to this day: With the perpetrator “Being brought to justice”. This is what we collectively do to comfort the victims and the bereaved. Then the job is done. Only recently is mental illness seriously mentioned in the courts.

There is much work to be done to humanize even the systems that are now considered the most humane. But really, partly, we still live in desert tribe style, operating like that. We praise ourselves having psychotherapy, psychiatry, to work through things. Well, this is still in infancy. We still operate to quite an extent with bad against good, instead of mad against sane, and this does not exclude us personally, for there are even biological remnants in us all.

Jesus said: ”Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” So should our effort not be directed to help them know what they are doing? This would be psychotherapy, healing. It is only after people can deeply regret, and the other side deeply forgive, something they did,  that the past can truly be laid to rest.

Of course bombarding the brain with dangerous chemicals helps pharmaceutical companies well, but not those who know not what they are doing. Those companies also belong into the group of those who don’t know what they are doing.

In constellations we can see the deeper motives out of which we do things that we don’t understand ourselves. Because there are loyalties hidden so deeply, trauma buried so deeply, that so far only constellations, and in some cases looking at past lives can bring them to light, and thus free people from doing what they would otherwise do blindly, at their detriment.

This does not just apply to drastic actions that are sanctioned by our judicial systems, but also to different little things we do in our every day lives, in our relationships, and watch others relating to us in a way that puzzles and even hurts us.  These are actions, or refusals to act where we should, that we do not understand ourselves. We are caught elsewhere. Here we are bound to a loyalty, to a conscience that we are not aware of. We stand beside ourselves and wonder what we just did or did not do, even though it would have been more appropriate, more positive for all involved. We call it (self-)sabotage. 

Well, we have got a wonderful tool to look at subconscious actions with the eyes of love, willing to give them the healing place they need.
Once upon a time this was the only way, as tribes, especially as tribes who were threatened or on the war path, but now we can approach this with our hearts.

Silence

Today I am talking to you about a topic that we shouldn’t 
even speak of.  
I am saying something about silence.

Often we are afraid ofsilence.  
We fear we might lose ourselves in it. 
Yet silence is full. 
It is this fullness we fear. 
The sun is also silent, 
no sound can be heard from it, 
even though all life depends on it.

In silence everything is standing still, every sound and every movement. 
The depth and the ultimate are devoid of sound. 
Because everything that seeks admission ceases here, 
the gates of stillness remain open. 
What wanted more than just being still, sinks down deeply.

In this stillness every question settles down, and every screaming pain. 
Even life, and death. 
In stillness we are elsewhere. Everything ultimate is silent, 
infinitely silent – and so is its depth.

Whence does the ultimate insight come? It, too, comes from stillness. 
Yet it does not move. 
Every movement takes away from its depth.
 In stillness, the depth is also just there. 
What about words then? 
They, too, keep their silent distance. 

 

Everything that is fulfilled becomes still. Stillness heals. 
No one and no thing wants to speak out. No one and no thing that is missing anything. 
Everything sinks into itself in stillness. Stillness guides us to contemplation, 
to pure contemplation, 
without any tangible object.


How do we respond to something that wants something from us? 
With silence, with recollected silence. 
It will fall silent before it, and it becomes still, too. 
With this stillness we already go through our death, 
soundless,  in all stillness, 
and we return different. 
This stillness remains.

Some more thoughts about it. 
What comes from this stillness is shining. It is there differently. 
Above all, our love and our happiness.
I wish you a fulfilled day and a rich time, still and full.  

 

I feel healing is one of the major keys to our further evolution, 
on our personal  level as well as on our collective conscience.


Let us empty out forgotten bits in our pockets, hand the remnants over, with a sigh of relief: Now we can travel more lightly. Less and less obligation to condemn, to hate, to despise. Acknowledging an unhealed state, also in ourselves, will do. 

Our essential transformation goes  
Eventually our goal might be not to act out of fear and violence (conscience) 
but out of wisdom and love (consciousness)

Well this is how I see it. Only conscious love will mellow us.
There are great promises on the wide open horizon. Let us sow.

with love from Geli   angelika.schenk@gmail.com    


 
 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  March  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The third Sunday in March (17th) 

If you would like to do a small group at Gayatri at some other date, just email me. 
We have enjoyed these groups for a while now, often even during the week.

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
f
or any questions, 
or book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,  

this newsletter is about encouraging you to heal your wounds, the wounds in your family and even larger group, 
so that your relationships can succeed. I tell you about 
how frustrating it was for me and many others to try to help people in a social work context.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

What of our family members' and ancestors' lives and of our own past lives is unhealed inside us, can easily raise its head in any close relationship,

I saw this painfully in many years of social work. What a relief it was for me to finally meet Bert in 2001. What sanity and clarity all of a sudden! There is a way!

Of course, problems can range from mild to massive, and have all kinds of origins, which are always serious. Over the years most of us have seen a wide range of the spectrum. All kinds of external problems can stress our close relationships, and many of them can be helped with common sense and support and good advice. So if the relationship has been mutually loving and supporting, there is every reason to hope it will come good again. If it is a shared problem concerning children, or caring for a sick family member, or some sudden event that strains the inner and outer resources, love and some outer support can help.

But many problems go far deeper. Breakdowns are normal, children must accept the facts. In spite of the bond of love, one partner may suddenly or chronically experience unwelcome states of being. If the affected partner can acknowledge his or her problems, the other partner can remain supportive.

But all too often in a couple relationship one or both partners have the expectation that the other side should be different. They feel if only their partner would change, life would be easier, Perhaps it would, but the evidence is that people do not change easily, they rather try to change their partner.

I do not know if we can “change”, out of volition, but I do know that often there can be healing.

And here is the point where counseling / and many individual therapies are limited. Because healing of the soul is always healing between people, even if this happens inside us.     

Encouraging someone, admonishing a person to make peace with someone may or may not work, because the underlying pains and fears or avoidance mechanisms are still in place, and so it can become a push-pull struggle.

Another counter-productive point in this is that in individual sessions, with only one person, the counseling person hears what a perception the “client” has of an important other person. This perception may be biased, or deliberately distorted, so that the client does not lose face, so to speak. There is often a need to make oneself look better than the other person who supposedly or actually makes our life hard. We often become our partner’s victim.

The counseling person will then often side with the person present, or else the client may not come back.

The perfect couple in strife where both go to counseling together and present themselves objectively and their partner kindly, would be every counselor's dream, but there aren’t many of them.

Of course the skilled counsellor sees and hears more than what is deliberately presented, and the people may be happy about the consultations and even return, But how much can be achieved this way?

If only one person comes and tells the counsellor about the other person, your guess about how factual / objective this description will be, is as good as mine.

Then there is the tricky issue of confidentiality. This confidentiality is often used to the superficial advantage of the partner who does see the counsellor. Then it can easily happen that the counsellor is pulled in and recruited as a third person in a triangle where the partners hope to win the counsellor over to their own side.

In my years in the women’s shelter I experienced this again and again. My colleagues sided fiercely with the women. That was our job, so to speak. Often enough lives were at stake. The men who often were indeed unstable and mentally ill, had no right to be heard and no one who invited them to hear them, at least, this was their subjective reality.

So my colleagues did all they could to convince the women to leave the man in question for good - and really, this seemed to be the only rational option in most cases. Yet this had often the effect that the women did go back to their partners, without even telling us, as they felt embarrassed not doing what they had been advised to do so strongly, especially where children were in danger.

Because no amount of anger and upset can cancel out the ties that are formed in a mixture of love and violence. 

The underlying trauma and emotions desperately long for some good end.

As necessary as a separation often is, it is only a solution on the surface. If there is no deep solution, fear and terror remain with the traumatized.

It was even worse working with street children, who later on often turned into confused and abused young women with babies, and confused and abusing men, and also the other way round occasionally. Quite a few of the youth were children I knew from the refuge. It was not always easy to cope with the heartbreak, seeing the mothers helpless and the children forlorn and abandoned, just as their mother felt, and the sweet little boys now often violent and out of it, like their fathers.

Our Will 

Our will wants to achieve something. 
It is a power that is goal-focussed. 
It is directed towards some gain, some success.

Yet we don’t know where this power comes from. 
Is it from the goal that this power originates, 
so that it is the power of attraction of the goal that takes hold of our will, 
pulling it towards itself, 
like gravity pulls us towards the earth, towards its core?
 
Or does the will seek out a goal, mobilizing on its own accord the strength 
to achieve it? 
Or is the will blind, 
taken into service by something else and directed from there? 
Is this other that steers our will, not inside us, 
but outside us, 
as if the nature of our will and its direction had been decided by other powers, 
right at the beginning ? 
What about our so called free will then?

Is it an illusion, serving the purpose of making us all the more compliant to fit into something that is ultimately unavoidable anyhow? 
We don’t know the answer.

There are experiences that make these questions appear futile. 
It is the experience of unison with life as it is, with our fate, as it reveals itself, the experience of unison with what is given to us, imposed on us by circumstances, forcing us to comply. 
Perhaps at first we put up a fight. Eventually we give up our resistance. We submit, and we feel carried and guided in a way that allows us to let go and trust this greater power that has a larger view in mind.

What then remains 
to be done by our will? 
Consenting. 
This consenting frees us for the essential, without us seeing it before us. 
We experience it as deeply in accord with ourselves. 
In this deep agreeing  we are in a movement  without having a will of our own any more. 

In this movement  our will has accomplished itself.

Guided thus, 
we celebrate the day, at ease, taken by the hand by greater powers, without a care about what will be next, 
wholly in the here and now. How so? With love,

May you experience this today, and may this experience continue for you 
in the coming week.

Well, then there was Bert, 
and for many, everything changed. 

Now we can acknowledge all the players that are tied up in a knot, even generations back. And the ones who appear to pull the knot have to keep on carrying it until it gets gently untangled. thanks to Bert we do not have to rely on what people say any longer, and to form opinions and make recommendations. All we need to do is set the stage where the great love can present us with a sacred play of returning troubled people to peace, where our deep longing for reconciliation and healing unfolds of its own accord.

May we all find the trust to stand still inside, feel the tenderness and open softly, 
let the magic unfold, and receive a new world.

If you have any questions, feel  free to contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family  
$  80   for your  own  constellation, including
a pre-consultation talk
on the phone

Please also bring
food to share 
 

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

 


Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  FEBRUARY  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:

The third Sunday in February (17th) 

If you would like to do a small group at Gayatri at some other date, just email me . 
We have enjoyed these groups for a while now, often even during the week.

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
for any questions,
 
to book a constellation 
just email me 

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends, this newsletter is about horse constellations and magic. Hmh, you might say. 
Well, yes, perhaps, but over the last one and a half years, pretty much coinciding with the release of Steven Spielberg's War Horse, horses came to us from all directions. So we gave in.

And we did not regret it. So, here are some thoughts and experiences for those of you who still love the magic worlds.

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

Some people find constellations “heavy”. Well yes, but...the rewards are often a lightness we never knew before. Standing in the dark place with trust opens roads we never saw before. Constellations as such have an aspect of deep and hard work to them, but only if we resist. For it is well known how clearing tears can be. The final image is practically always one of ease or even happiness.

And over the last year, we have received even greater gifts, I just wrote a letter to a friend, where I said: “It’s work first, and then play.” Now we can also say: “It’s hard reality first, and then magical dimensions of joy and ease.” A bit like birth. Few women would say that giving birth as such was a pleasure. But then you have the result in your arms.

Did you, do you like fairytales? Do they have a place in your world? Do you remember a time when you wondered if the stories are true? Did you long for 
a happy end? Somehow, it seems, we have a need for happy endings. A happy end gives us something that eases us, makes us optimistic again, 
gives us new energy.

We have modern fairytales, such as about a poor orphan child that does not lose courage and is always on the lookout for an opportunity to better his or her fate, for something good to keep the heart going well. We empathize with them, and many of us secretly wish they were as courageous as these orphans. When they make it, we are very glad for them. Fairytales are about losses, about being orphaned, being sent away, having to go on a dangerous mission, and finally, finally, the brave child that keeps faith is rewarded by the heavens.

Then there are also myths. All these worlds are narrated as if there was a time when these beings lived on earth, at least in the west. Towards the east this perspective begins to change. One is more open to parallel time spaces, coexisting harmoniously, without clashes or confusions.
Constellations can be a bit like that. Have they become more so in my case, 
as I love delving into the treasure house of the Russian soul, having at times requested Grigory Petrovich Grabovoi’s help? Young heroes and heroines 
that venture out on a soul quest to find their parents, siblings, lovers, and other relatives from whom they were separated through some painful circumstances. This quest can take the form of tuning into a story of suffering that is concealed in a symptom that gives us some kind of pain, physical or emotional.

Over the last year, in a number of groups of experienced participants, who are all comfortable with the hypothesis of many frequencies of existence, we have eased the reins on quite a few occasions, just following the movements wherever they took us. The horse theme has been with us for one and a half years now. Our first horse was a foal that had been left behind by its human family when they had to flee from their homes during the war, never to return. Leaving the foal gave it a small chance of surviving. Taking the foal would have meant little Hans’s certain death The human ‘mother’ of this foal, nearly a hundred years old now, was still grieving over the horse’s suffering.  

So we went to search for little Hans, we called out for him. And that was exactly the right thing to do. Little Hans was heartbroken, not because  he could not come. He understood. But why did his family never call him all these years? 
Had they forgotten him? Impossible. When there is so much love! When they finally did, he came, sobbing, did they not know that horses would have heard this call from anywhere, and he would have known they think of him, and he might have found them later.

All right then, we talked to them as if they were near us. And we also started calling to those past over that have no resting place known to their loved ones. 
^In any case, when we talk to those passed over, we do not know where they are, we do not know from where they hear us and respond, if they can. If we 
did not take this seriously, how could we do spiritual family constellations? 
 

So, we acknowledge we have been communicating with passed-over horses 
as naturally as with passed-over people. How and why do the horses achieve the rescue missions they were assigned to? And even more, why does a herd of   horses of a  herd take it upon itself  to find people?

Our most recent horse tale you would perhaps call a ‘fairytale’. But doing so, 
one wonders about the difference between so called reality and magicality. Is one real, and the other imagined?  Is not even so called objective reality perceived differently from person to person?  If the so called unreal sphere does not exist, how then is it possible that we perceive it together and work with it the same way as we do with outer reality, with good results in the so called reality?
 
Why are there so many fairytales about horses that run as fast as the wind, 
and even fly? In Russian, Mongolian, and Chinese fairytales, like Lungpa, the spiritual flying horse of the Tibetans, which is called and comes to help. In the west we have Pegasus. Why can these horses find people all over the Eurasian continent, why do these horses hear each other’s and their riders’ calls over huge distances, why do herds find each other this way, at least in fairytales? And do the horses see  the humans as  members of their own herd?


Sometimes  we experience  literally being absorbed into something else..

In this absorption we are drawn into something by another power, without being able to resist it. 
At the same time we feel relieved as we forget our little self for a while. We move in another space, at one with something transcending us.

We seek such situations because here we grow beyond ourselves. We dissolve into them as it were, and we return differently to our daily life. Not always happily however, sometimes rather sober. We had ended up in a realm outside ourselves, we were beside ourselves, also in a burdening sense, such as in fighting for our life.

It is different in a collected surrender. We let go of something that drew us away from our centre, or more precisely, we are drawn into this centre, and beyond it, into a space beyond ourselves. And yet we remain with ourselves, we do not lose ourselves. We experience ourselves at one with something transcending us.

This recollection and devotion are timeless; here our normal time stands still.

This devotion we experience like a homecoming to our source, into the collected power of the source of everything there is. In this devotion we dissolve and we become one with a creative movement, still and deep and light, free from any earthly pull. 

  Is this the devotion in which we take the step into that spiritual realm where we experience ourselves as just there, there with something ultimate, and at the same time also with everything else? In this devotion we experience ourselves as purely being there, without any wants of our own, nothing but being taken along into a movement that seems to stand still, because time stands still in it, as if it were already at its destination.

However, after a while we return from this recollected devotion. We return in recollection, released from much that appeared important before. We return as if floating. Even in our daily work and actions we experience ourselves as if elevated, as if in an interim space between here and there.

Are we doing something in this devotion? Are we doing more than just being there, being there creatively, without moving of our own accord?
Our movements are moved from elsewhere, and in this movement we are in ultimate stillness. We move in still surrender to it, in fulfilled stillness.

May we all have have magical transformations, so we get truly used to them in real life, 
and is not all of life magical?
And what if the magical wants to serve us far more than what we realize!

Where does the world end that is perceived with our outer senses, and where does the world begin that we perceive with our inner senses? And why do some people barely distinguish between some of them, as we can frequently see it in Asian movies? Perhaps these worlds are not separate from each other, but intimately overlaid, like overtones, another octave of the same colour in the prism, a slightly altered vibration. Most of us can agree on the colour violet, and quite a few can also agree on seeing ‘ultra’ violet.      We like to end a constellation on a vibration of easing, of reconciling, of happiness even, when people find each other again and embrace each other with love, and often begin to laugh with joy. With such a happy end any fairytale is willing to end.

But if it is an Epic tale, every happiness turns into the next disaster, and if it is an outright tragedy, we run out of options as to how this outcome can be turned around. Well, then we need to be crafty and change over to ultraviolet, the colour of fairytales where everything is possible. Why? Because this is a pliable world that responds to a need with love and courage, instead of giving up in bitterness and despair.

Ask yourself: Is something that comes to a bad ending more “true” or “real” than something with a happy ending? Or is it in fact the other way round? Can the soul ever accept a bad outcome as the end? For a while perhaps, as in wars, where pain is overwhelming. But this leaves the soul depressed. What is called realism is in fact often a giving up. Can we really lose a loved one? The horses all said no to that,

We would not stop reading a bedtime story to a child until we reach a good ending. The good ending stays with the child through the night and nurtures hope and courage. Constellations and Fairy tales have begun merging for our core group in the last one and a half years. We did not ask for this, neither anticipating nor planning it. But once we had a horse in a constellation. It  appeared to us as if the boundary between violet and ultraviolet, was crossed, and there was only a sense of continuation.

Yet for people who are not open up to the energies of constellations, the invisible colour spectrum sets in much earlier, the vibration imperceptible to them is often considered to be non –existent, at least quite questionable.

The spectrum of perception in our group, though, like that of many others, has stretched over time, at least to the extent, that a long talk between humans and horses is no longer ultraviolet. We have entered a region where this is quite normal.

It gets more bizarre, if you would call it that, though not for us. Because the horses took us to Mongolia, where humans and horses used to be equal and one. I never had an much of an affinity with Mongolians, looking at history. So I can’t be accused of conjuring up a dream of mine. Far from it. But after this experience there is a shift in me.

How many cultures have mythical creatures of a blend of human and horse. The Sagittarius being, a horse body and a human upper body is a description of the relationship of Mongolian people and horses. They could ride and shoot in full gallop without any trouble because they were one. It does not end here. It also appeared as if we were told that horses and humans incarnated into each other.

If you have any questions, 

you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family  
$  80   for your  own  constellation,   
including
a pre-consultation talk
on the phone

Please also bring
food to share 
 

In a recent constellation in January we were not thinking of horses at all, but just looking at a small tumor. We began with a representative for the tumor and one other person. The representative of the tumor could barely keep up standing, and felt close to passing out, which in fact really meant, she was ready to die. The second representative turned into this woman’s child,  a boy of about 8 years, who desperately tried to hold his mother up, to prevent her from dying in the cold, away from any comfort and support. It was a desperate situation. An objective outsider would have perceived both of them as dead, and lost in limbo. The boy kept telling his mother they had to go to a hut so that the mother could have a good sleep to recover. But she was far too weak to move, and he was unable to move her, and there was nowhere to go anyway, but the boy went on talking to his mother, pushing his head under her chest to hold her up. It would have been a very pitiful sight for anyone to behold.

But the boy kept on going, with such intensity that a man came who was really an angel. Even the angel seemed a bit confused as to whether those two were dead or alive. The truth was more complex. The two were stuck in the first transition phase, we were told, they had left their earthly bodies, but not their earthly consciousness. The little boy knew it. The angel appeared to think that the boy could be revived, so he asked the boy: “Little one, do you want to grow up and be a man?” The boy replied: “Yes, but only with my mother.” The angel suggested to take the mother where she could “sleep”, and the little boy come with him, so he could become a man. The boy would not have it. He implored the angel to take his mother to a safe, warm place, where they could both sleep to recover. The angel asked once more if that was what the boy really wanted. “Yes” replied the boy, “please help us”. And so the angel conceded and found them a warm hut, even with a bed. The boy could not thank the angel enough, he made sure his mother was comfortable, stroked her, cooing her to “sleep”. He leaned into her, leaving one hand on her belly, and then relaxed into a wonderful nap to recover from the strain. As he opened his eyes again he saw the angel at a distance. The angel was softly calling out to some horses, with a beautiful Mongolian song. 
The boy was wide awake now, he looked at his mother who was now so relaxed and happy and beautiful again, that tears ran down his face with relief and joy. He stroked and hugged and kissed her again and again, with his ears pricked up to hear the angel. The angel’s singing came nearer, and as the mother was wide awake and happy now, the boy leaned into her and looked towards the angel. And what a sight it was! The angel had collected the horses of the boy’s  tribe. The horses all came and seemed every bit as happy as the boy who now called out, overjoyed: “Mummy, look, the horses are here!” Then a surprised choking noise came from the boy, as he saw his own beloved horse amongst them, “Matiko”, he sobbed. The little horse stood right in front of him, ready to play the  “hooves and hands” game with him. The boy no longer knew in which reality he was, but what did it matter. They were well and alive. At a distance he saw people, beginning to recognize some of his people he had not seen for quite some time.
Here we ended the constellation, but the story did not want to end. We were told that in the olden days the people and their horses reincarnated amongst each other, as they lived together in any known world, often taking turns between horses and humans, each one of them willing to leave one plain of being for the sake of any other human or horse being from the tribe.

Well, I wish you all happy dreams and of course happy  waking time as well, Geli

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

 


 

 

Angelika's  Family  Constellations   Newsletter  JANUARY  2013 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The third Sunday in January 
We will also do some smaller groups during the week.

If you would like to do a small group at Gayatri at some other date, just email me. 
We have enjoyed these groups for a while now, often even during the week.

To subscribe to this newsletter ,
for any questions,
 
to book a constellation 
email me 

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org
Dear old and new friends, a new earth year that is supposed to even be a new beginning of a new  year for our galaxy !    How amazing! Do you feel peace has become more tangible, more within reach?

Many of us feel a time has come where it is much easier to remain hopeful in spite of the problems in the world. We feel that if we keep on the side of trust that things can turn around for the better, we already make a positive contribution towards world peace. We have begun to realize that we can live as if we were already a part of the solution, instead of the problem. My main source of inspiration has been, and I believe, will be, the Russian healer initiate Grigory Grabovoi who upholds immense power for the good in so many ways. 

Meditation
with 

Bert 

Hellinger

I begin to feel I do not have a choice but to uphold the good in my small ways also - with a good amount of unexpected hick-ups of course.

The second new star on the horizon of my world is James O’Dea. This brilliant and completely dedicated man takes himself lightly enough and the future of humanity seriously enough - in a positive and creative way. He has written a book called “Cultivating Peace” which is a book I have been waiting for to be written. It covers so many important factors of peace. And he writes in such an engaged and inspiring way. He has made the first and last chapter of his book available for free. You can find it on my website, under the link below.

I was happy to find that he mentions the need to heal ourselves and our ancestors as well, because the degree to which we can be solidly and congruently and consistently in the service of peace for the world has something to do with the degree of peacefulness inside and around us, in our close relationships. 

So it will be quite some time until Bert’s present gift will have served its purpose fully. I have found again and again that once we have a feeling of peace in our family, all other practices we may pursue become much easier and lighter and more effective. Freed from burdens with our near ones, free from deep seated complaints, anger, fear, despair, we literally become light.

Things can pass though us, and we can step aside to avoid something that we are no longer the target of.

We begin to allow ourselves to be happy in the face of suffering because upholding happiness will be the means to reduce suffering.

We begin to love through insults and hurts as we understand they are not really sent to us, they are rather sent from someone who is unhappy.   

  Here's the link to chapters one and ten of James O'Dea's book:

  http://www.coming-together. com/gayatri_e/gayatri_seminar_ farm/cultivating_peace.htm

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own  constellation, 
 
including
a pre-consultation talk
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
 

We can live our normal life with more peace in it. As peace spreads inside, we become light and worry much less in the face of problems, understanding from the depth that this response is not helpful to anyone. Acknowledging that a difficulty has arisen that asks for attention, we bring our best effort to it whilst keeping out of harm’s way as much as possible.

We rein in the galloping thoughts and establish emotional calmness and good will instead. Once we found peace again, our thoughts and even our actions will be productive, too.   

angelika.schenk@gmail.com      

 


 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter DECEMBER  2012   

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first Sunday in 
 December(2
nd)and also 
  the third (16th)
 I will be available on both Sundays, but we 
expect more people on the 3rd Sunday

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

In Europe and with people of European descent, November is still the month of remembering the dead, especially the war dead. 
I
s remembering the dead, especially those who died a
painful death, a good thing?
So it depends on how we do it.
Still grieving, leaving their death in the frozen state, as if they were still suffering, does not seem to help.

Forgetting them is not a good choice either, because even the young may still have symptoms that do not make any sense to them. This means they may carry some of their pain.

Even the young in the family still feel the grief that is often not completed. There on the wall are those that remain eternally young through their early death.

Recently in our constellations we are shown quite affirmatively about the importance of dying a complete death, because only then can we rise freely to a new life, and this is even called resurrection. Bert has also talked about it not long ago.

So what is it above all that makes a life of ours complete, so that we can leave one incarnation peacefully, acknowledging it as a part of our inner wealth, with our soul intact?
Dealing with war and genocide issues, and even isolated accidental early deaths, there are two important completions that the departed need for their peace.

One is between political enemies or in perpetrator-victim relationships, the other is between the dead people and their family, reuniting with both the living and the dead.
In our experience now the more important reunion for the individual dead is the one reuniting with one’s family.
Of course, for any large-scale conflicts the reconciling of opposing sides, is essential.
A timely death in old age, with family around the dying person, can be a blessed peaceful “till we meet again”.
An untimely, violent death takes so much away from us, as much as nearly everything, including our dignity and our sense of having a right to live. Such deep injuries do not just drop away with dying.

The worst for a dead person is to be alone, without being able to return to loved ones. Again, this happens most of all through large scale violence, military invasion, genocide and persecution. Dying through the hands of hostile people, worst of all, through people who have the upper hand to such an extent, that the others cannot do anything to defend themselves, strips the soul of even its essential human dignity and worth.

Still surrounded by hostile people after death, finding oneself just in a heap of other dead bodies, anonymously, without anyone ever knowing where and how this family member was killed, with no way of returning to the soul of their family, will leave a host of serious symptoms in the actual victim’s next life, and also in their relatives.

These dead need to be collected and brought home. How can this be done?
Recently we learned much about this from a horse that had to be left behind in a war situation. The horse was heartbroken that it was not called, and its call not responded to. The family grieved terribly as in olden days horses were essential members of the family. But in inconsolable grieving we are not truly reaching out to the dead person, and only that restores the relationship and overcomes the loss.

It is the mutual calling out for the others that the soul hears without fail. But in overwhelming pain we might be so shut down that we cannot even contemplate this. 
Even ten years ago we did a lot of war constellations, in a way that the relatives could bring their dead home to bury them, at least on the soul level. We did expeditions on the soul level to find them, to claim them back and bring them home, to bury them properly, where they belong. They need to be held, stroked, wept over, until the tears dry up in the certainty of secure belonging. If all of this could not happen yet, people might even see the dead as restless ghosts, though they only want to reunite with us and put us at rest also.

So we spend a good amount of time to really be with those who have not yet been able to fully complete a past life, very thoroughly, until they feel back at home, and therefore have peace. In the end it seems the foremost connection is not necessarily with the perpetrator, but with the victim’s family.

Invariably, the dead really need to come home. Where genocide happened, this means we can help all the dead of a family to meet somewhere. We had such situations in Russia, where the surviving family members had no idea where the many dead ones died. So we chose a safe place in a hidden forest clearing, and the participants chose one spiritual being they could all agree on: atheists, Moslems, Christians. It was mother Russia.   Then we went into meditation and each participant connected to the dead in their own family. I invited them to quietly speak to the group, whilst fully remaining in their meditation. Soon the tears began to fall, as they actually felt contact and invited the dead to join us, and it went beyond that, as they described how the dead, on their side, called out for other dead ones and brought them along into the sacred forest.
Needless to say, we were in no hurry to leave the forest, and we left the place there, so for the duration of the group everyone could still turn into this scene again.
If people die too traumatically, too far away, forlorn, they may not be able at all to call out, and so they lose touch. Add to this the people who inflicted those deaths upon the other, we see the  dimension of autism, as those deaths are inflicted by people who have lost connection.

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

The next step: Healed  

The question is
Do our
lost people only want to come to us? 
Or do they want to go elsewhere, 
together with us? 
Are we their
final port of call? 
Will it do for them to return to us, 
or do they want to go home with us, elsewhere? 
Will it do if we just look at them? 
Or do we have to look further, 
together with them, towards something greater? 

May all souls from any time truly find their way home 
and be received with the full love, so we can all start out again, filled with the confidence that allows us to be peace-able.
Geli

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Often even the perpetrators need to go home first, to wake up from their insanity. In life and beyond, belonging is the deepest need. Back in the arms of their family, souls frozen in injuries for God only knows how many lives can finally let go, for letting go is best done at home.

Bert only wrote about that once as far as I can recall. But in constellations this other movement has never asserted itself on its own terms.

Once the persons stuck in their death can relax in safe, familiar arms, they can let go of the life that has been over a long time ago.

Then we are also shown what happens when we are born again without having completed our death: We can only take this new life as a new experience to some degree.  It is not so much about memories of this other life. What causes havoc is our instinctual response that froze so deeply as we died an unnatural and horrifying death.

People may have memories of their death in another life, such as seeing something terrible. But this does not unfreeze the body of this time. And admonitions of “let go” are to no avail, as the physiology of survival mode is still activated. Or the dead person may not have any memory at all, but the body’s activated survival responses gives it away. Thus we can describe to some extent what the body was doing before, during, and after death.

And next, we are supposed to be newly born, when all too often, especially after large scale conflicts like wars, and not a long time to recover, we are just back again, still in survival mode or in resigning.  None of these feelings may make sense to us in this life. The intellectual level does not have the power to override the instinctual response we chose in death, one of those three or all of them alternating: fight (outbursts of rage, alternating with despair), flight (not being able to stay anywhere, having yo take off), desperate crying and screaming, still hoping to be heard and saved, and freeze (ranging from depression to not being able to respond or move at all).

Only going back to the time of death, this time with the family standing by on the soul level, not able to undo the physical death, but able to take this person home with them now, holding the dead in their arms, allowing everything to be said that needs to be said, every tear that needs to be cried to be cried, every rage to be expressed safely, and trusting that the soul will come through. 

Then the journey home can begin.

Healing is complicated even more through the fact that  what happened in this last life is often in resonance to a deeper trauma in the person’s life even before the last one. If it seems to match at first, but on closer inspection, it does not really match, then we can go a life further, and what do we take there to get an answer? The best evidence to take, so it seems to me now, is to take the jammed nervous system.

Additionally, this stress has often been activated to an extent in our mother’s womb in this life.

But seeing these dimensions more clearly, we take the symptoms we see now and present them for healing. And lo and behold, we are shown the way to a full, released death, and to resurrection.

Most of us would be carrying incomplete deaths, and could do with a more complete resurrection, because that would mean, a more truly fulfilled life.

Perhaps the incompletion holds us back for a while, to let us experience something, and when for some reason fate decrees to restore us more fully, it calls out. Then we can perhaps feel  that pain was only there to make us more complete.

So we can approach soul healing confidently, and it also means, we can face our pain more confidently, as everything can be healed.

We are all eternal.

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    


www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

                                             

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter NOVEMBER  2012   

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first Sunday in 
 November(4th)
and also 
  the third (18th)
 I will be available on both Sundays, but we 
expect more people on the 3rd Sunday

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

Do you sometimes (or often) have the feeling that something is really missing in your life, and on the other hand, there is too much of something you really do not want in your life? 

Could the two sides even have the same origin sometimes?

Then there are those things most of us want. If we can't have them there's often some reaction.
How do we feel about the things we don’t want in our life? We want them gone. Does that work? Or have you experienced they hang on and even come back to haunt you?
Just take one of those unwanted things, a bad feeling for instance, an illness, a bad relationship, a person you don’t want to ever see again.

What does the unwanted do to us? Does it leave us restless, uncertain, in pain, frustrated, trapped, helpless, as all our attempts to get rid of it did not work? No matter how we try to distance ourselves it revisits us, often in a way we least expected.

So, from a constellation perspective and from my own experience, I suggest we try out another approach. We meet with it, in a safe and supportive space. All we need to agree to, is that the other thing/person does exist, as much as we do, like it or not. On a positive note, we can open up to the possibility that it might be transformed.

This meeting can even be frightening. But in a safe place, just on the soul level, with enough distance between ourselves and what or whom we fear/dread, or hate, we can just look from this safe distance, and we can take all the time we need.

Eventually we begin to acknowledge that there is also a fascination about the unwanted. We do not understand it, we can’t understand it. So we just stand there, finding the right place to stand our ground, perhaps with enough support around us. Having others on our side, supporting us calmly, we feel we have understanding allies. They are just there for that reason.

Perhaps the other side also needs support. So far we had only looked at this other side as something that is a threat to us. Now we might begin to sense that this other side might also feel a threat coming from somewhere. We move backwards a little more so that the other side does not perceive us as a source of threat. We know this would mean a continuation or even escalation of disunity that is already there.

We remain patient, giving what might want to happen a lot of space and time. We realize this is not the situation from the past. This is a meeting now, where everything is slowed down into tiny steps to allow contemplation into it. If both sides feel safe, this can be the beginning of a transformation. Perhaps one of our supporters begins to take an interest in one person on the other side. Someone might initiate a cautious acknowledging or greeting. As time passes we might become more brave. We try to see the other in their predicament. 

Did they really want to do what they did? Were they really aware of what they were doing? How would it feel to bear so much guilt? Would we like to swap with them? Are they any better off than us, or is it rather the opposite?

If you like continue this in your own time. Get as many helpers as you like, just focus on your safety, or another person’s safety whom you are supporting. The fear and anger can only truly disappear when we have helped the other side to become soft, and finally regret. This can only happen once we understand that fate could have easily reversed the roles.

Where possible, it would be a good idea in a constellation to let the 
key players on either side stand in the place of the other side. This might reveal what the other side never knew or even contemplated.

I once had a woman in a constellation who was completely alienated from both sisters. None of them had spoken to another sister for many years. After we had looked at the issues, the present sister and the two represented sisters still could not look or speak to each other.

Their father was a disturbed man. I asked the sisters to take turns standing in his place. After all three of them had done it, they cried and embraced each other.

When the woman got home, there was already a message on her answering machine from one sister, asking if they could meet soon. 
A little later the three sisters reunited.

It is a good time to ask for peace, to offer peace, and to find peace again. Finding peace needs a bit of  willingness to reconcile, just a bit, or at 
least a bit of curiosity about the other. The gifts that follow are great. Some other problem we had might disappear, too. So we end up with more peace, more spaciousness inside, and less emotional and physical distress.

It’s worth giving it a try. Then there are of course many situations where we may have to go back many generations to find the time in history where the peace was lost, and where it needs to be found again. But even your willingness to try will have softened the souls on the other side. They might already be willing to work with you.

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

Healed

When we feel healed, something that had moved   away from a centre comes back together in us. We can also say: What moved away from love, separated into opposites.   Opposites encircle a centre that attracts both sides, because they equally originated from it. They want to return to it, to become one again.
The healing happens at the end of this movement. 
What was driven apart in separate directions comes back together.
Where does it come together again? First of all in our soul and in our spirit. Then in the end, also in our body.
Where did this drifting apart begin? It began in our spirit and in our soul.
What lead to this drifting apart? The exclusion of others from our love. Those excluded by us are still there, and still connected to us, but they are separated from our love.
What happens to us then? The excluded come back. They make themselves felt, often in a painful way. Most drastically through an illness or a disability.
How do we usually respond to this illness or disability?
We respond with a further exclusion. This means, we want to get rid of the problem the same way we wanted to get rid of the people we excluded from our love and our memory.

Our health system serves the same intention to a large extent. Its basic mission is primarily to free a sick or disabled person from what causes pain or oppression. It this sense we also speak of conquering an illness.

In family-constellations it comes to light that an illness or a disability is linked to persons who want to be noticed and acknowledged in the pain. Therefore the first step towards healing begins with a glance to the excluded person and with the willingness to bring the person back into our soul and our body, for instance an aborted child.

The question is: Do these excluded or forgotten people only want to come to us? Or do they want to go elsewhere together with us? Are we their final port of call? Will it do for them to return to us, or do they want to go home with us, elsewhere? Will it do if we just look at them? Or do we have to look further, together with them, towards something greater? 

How do we feel when we look at yonder distant light, together with them, the light that shines for them and also for us?

Bert's Text continued below 

Wishing us all the best expansion of love - Geli

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

Bert's Text continued: This would be the comprehensive step that can free us from an illness or disability.
This movement is a spiritual movement into another consciousness. 
It is a movement into another love, into a love that is inclusive  instead of exclusive, a love that respects this creative movement above all, 
a love that agrees to it, and to where it takes us

Therefore healing demands a spiritual surrender. This means we hand ourselves over to a universal love, we hand everything over, our body, and our illness, and everyone who wants to be noticed in them.

How so? In an action. With this action we transcend a boundary. 
We transcend the boundary of our self-centredness, and we turn to something eternal in our actions, away from our concern about our health. We allow the creative power to lift us beyond these boundaries, into a health that endures, for our health is moved by a creative power in every moment, far beyond our body. Also far beyond our soul and beyond our spirit. This power will move us beyond, enduringly and constantly, together with everything else, in accomplishment, to a beyond in stillness, to a beyond in love

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    


www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

                                             

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations   Newsletter OCTOBER  2012   

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in October 
and also
  21st October,
 as some people have regular commitments on the 1st Sunday

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

Most of us would have  experienced feeling strange or uncomfortable at some places.  

So this letter is about places and constellations.

Everything we do, everything that happens to us, takes place in a certain location.

Some days ago a dear friend of mine rang me from Europe, concerned about her child, who was not his usual self. He felt very terrible. Some healers had provided some relief for him, but that did not last. We searched together where this could come from. But only when she began a sentence: “I thought of our house…” did my body react. How old is the house? I asked. 500 years, she said.  History on a large scale, another way of saying war, had certainly visited this area a lot. A range of invaders had poured through the district. We both knew this was it. Now a change could be set in motion. I explained to her, that instead of her child, being the most open target for unhappy souls, she could take it upon herself to talk to the souls and lend them a compassionate ear. Now all the little boy has to do, if they still visit him, is to tell them to speak to his mother. She can help them.

People who died sudden, violent deaths, can remain in shock for a very long time.

Then  a part of them is unable to move away and on. Feeling lost themselves, they are usually not able to be polite, and to say: “Excuse me, I am lost and I am feeling terrible. Can you help me?” But this is what they mean. So if we can open up to them, giving them the feeling that we will have time for them, that we will hear them out, we can  ask them to introduce themselves, to talk to us, to tell us their trouble, then in my experience they can usually be helped. People who live nearby come to a constellation when they suspect or perceive such trouble. Here in Queensland it is usually about Aboriginal people who were driven away, and murdered. Then Europeans came, took the land and did not think much further. Until problems begin. Old pain is stored in physical symptoms and hangs around in places where painful things happened that have not been reconciled to this day. We talk about “energies” but the energies are in fact a part of the dead that remain near the place of violence. 

If healing does not occur, further drama occurs, such as accidents, and more accidents. People put flowers there, for the person they lost. But not for the person or persons who got lost in this place first, who would have desperately needed help and support, protection. If there is a violent invasion of a living person, in the form of possessing a living person and then telling them to do something like killing someone else, or jumping off a bridge, then we call this a schizophrenic episode. Now finally the judicial system is beginning to see that many people were not their real selves at the time or their crime. But they call it a mental illness. When in reality it was the soul of a violent person, still stuck in what they did to someone who does not know anything about this all. These are the voices in the head, invading their victims so powerfully that they lose their own identity. And yet these perpetrators are also longing to be released. 

Telling a living person to jump off the bridge is, as far as I have experienced, the voice of a perpetrator who believe he will do penance this way, and thinking that penance makes everything okay. But this is an illusion. Because this action is not an action of lovingly turning to the victims with tears in their eyes. Only deeply heartfelt regret and the willingness to do something good can put an end to this tragic repetitions and thereby allow a new beginning for all involved, victims and perpetrators. Repetition is never a solution, just a pointer that reconciliation is sorely needed. Because of the shock, both sides have often remained frozen. People with a so called mental illness have brain frequencies that are open to disincarnated souls. Suffering souls are victims and perpetrators and both in one. Therefore so called mentally ill people often behave like a perpetrator, but feel like a victim, because perpetrator and victim are frozen together, and this gives the impression of someone fully mentally ill. Only after reconciliation between the troubled souls will the so called mentally ill be free to lead independent and fully conscious lives again.  

 

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

Meditation: Forgiveness

I have thought about what it means to forgive another. 
Are we allowed 
to do that at all? 
When we imagine what goes on in our soul when we talk about forgiveness, 
or think about it, 
what do we feel? 
We feel: 
forgiveness is only possible 
in small matters, 
and in mutuality.

When we become guilty of something, for instance when we have hurt another, 
the forgiveness that works 
is silent. 
It is lenience.
We forget what happened. We overlook it. 
Overlooking it in this way, makes the other feel our love.

When the other sees that we have also incurred guilt concerning him, 
He responds in the same way. He overlooks it and forgets it. This is a very humane way 
of forgiving. 
Basically it is simple lenience.

Now we go into a movement in which we feel inside us what happens to us 
when we forgive in this way? 
And we sense what happens to us when others forgive us in this way.

There’s something else to keep in mind here. 
When, in a relationship, 
we say to the other: 
“I forgive you.” 
something completely different goes on the soul. This pronounced forgiveness separates. 
It cannot save a relationship. To the contrary. 
It destroys a relationship. 
So let us return 
to that forgiveness 
which joins in love – 
both sides at once.

Australia also has a high rate of accidents in the country. There are places that attract drowning for instance,  and accidents on farms.  So it is a wise thing if one notices something about a place, to pause and see if a few people come together to be available for both side, helping them to achieve reconciliation.

When I started writing I really had in mind the many places where I had these experiences of feeling the unhappy souls around or was even given historical information or was visited myself by the troubled souls that cannot leave the place yet.

Our farm was the first place where I had these experiences myself, in dreams first, I would always feel very terrible in the morning. Nobody spoke about the massacre of Aboriginals that happened just three km away, as the crow flies. And yet, as we got here, there was a family massacre very near to where the big massacre had happened. There was a weird thing even then and until recently. Our road runs parallel to the one where the massacre was, to the south, when we first went to look at the block of land, we landed in the other road, even though my father and I do not easily get lost at all. This kept on happening to others, again people  who are quite good navigators. No matter how clearly I explain to them what to watch out for, which road t take and which one not to take, they arrive an hour or more later, having done the detour, passing by the mountain of the massacre.

 It took many years here in Gympie until people began to even mention aboriginals here. One could not even ask, one would just meet with blank faces, but now we know what we can do, in any such situation. Generations later, after a lot of compounding pain that was never consciously connected to what happened in the first place. It is good to go to the beginnings…

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

Trauma does not just go away if unreconciled. It just takes on other forms.

A very different example was a village in the high Alps.  A woman came, quite distressed, she had to leave her home because people could not get on with each other, there was family strife wherever you turned. This had been the reason for the family to emigrate.

We did a constellation about this. No background was given that helped at all. Suddenly a participant got up and stood tall and majestic. “ I am the mountain” she proclaimed. As the constellation unfolded it became clear that there had been a terrifying avalanche which claimed the lives of many inhabitants of two neighbouring villages. People had not been able to grieve together, to mourn their dead.. They had remained in futile and painful mutual accusations. This disaster had happened generations ago, and the present generations did not even know about it. But after the constellation the client went to research the history of the villages, and found out what happened. This understanding can now be the beginning of better relationships. Just as nobody had initiated the avalanche, so nobody had started the feuds. It happened as an unfortunate attempt of coping.

We tend to put the blame on smaller things, done by people. This  seems to be less overwhelming than such a blow of fate against which we are completely helpless. To the model of: “If only you had not done this, or they had not done this, it would not have happened.” Having secured a culprit, one has someone to blame, And this is often an attempt to make a terrible event smaller, more manageable, as if it could be  taking it back in hindsight, at least to the extent of having the thought:” It could have been prevented.” For instance, if all the soldiers had refused to go to war, it could not have happened. Like Bert Brecht cheers us up for the future : “Just imagine there was war, and no one would be coming!”

  Well I meant to talk about what places hold and what one can do about it.

This is so intricately interwoven with the people whom our medical system and even a very large part of our psychological experts call  mentally ill.

To me this understanding that Bert Hellinger gave us is at the core of reconciliation and opening the door to an existence with more love and understanding.

Insanity comes in tiny portions, diluted as it were, and we all harbour degrees of it. They are simply unhealed events. And for so many, it comes in high concentrations, allowing the one who has to bear such old pain hardly any life at all, and not much happiness for their carers. It’s a life in Hades for many

To go forward to a better world, I believe healing of old wounds, through deep reconciliation and letting go deeply, is essential. This will, I believe, cure many things, healing greed, healing fear, healing the subconscious feelings and confused memories that do not allow us to live fully with love, creativity, and joy. 

May we all move forward towards  love and joy, greater then what we have known until now

with love, Geli

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

Angelika's  Family Constellations   Newsletter SEPTEMBER  2012                        

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in September
that is this coming  Sunday 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

How do we feel about oneness? Is our universe whole, or is it split, or is it somewhere in between?

Thanks to the world wide web, it is easy to see that many people now long for what just used to be called peace, and is now often called oneness, or wholeness. It begins as a thought or feeling. The thought may be able to see that there is wholeness even where there is strife and disorder in many ways, be it inside our own bodies, families, countries, between players in societies, rich and poor, powerful  and powerless .

One amazing step for many is to accept the way things presently are on earth, this means also to acknowledge the massive conflicts that reign supreme at this time. This may not be very compatible with our notion of love, which goes with the word peace. So can we find the delicate balance of ongoing challenge, but not outright warfare? Do we see some armed conflict as still necessary? Do we take sides then? What about those we do not like? Where do we put them in our soul?

Do we have to separate the inner levels of heart, soul, mind from the political reality? Well we have some models, like Gandhi, who still paid the oppressors respect. Or right now, we have Polly Higgins and her increasing amount of supporters. A peaceful society on earth still needs protection for all those that cannot do it themselves.

Peace and oneness come to us so much easier when we can feel it in our own body, in our own hearts. When we have a taste of the love that loves to spread oneness, it is much easier to expand further into an expanse of this new world view (who knows how old it is?)

The constellation approach of healing, whatever we seek healing for, is always  a reconciliation, and brings even a greater union as before, as a project on our personal or social and political horizons.

Amazingly, every symptom in our bodies has a story of “unskilful” (to use the lovely peaceful term of the Buddha) ways and means to deal with something.

In Vipassana Meditation for instance it is possible to become aware of the stories and pictures behind mere physical sensations. Once lovingly and dispassionately looked at, or in other words, integrated into the whole, it dissolves, and with it, the molecules of emotion that stored this chunk of pain in our body.

We have very many of these in our bodies - who knows how far into our collective past all this reaches.

We have found again and again that any physical or emotional or relational symptom can be traced to a serious and unresolved conflict of life and death. Therefore these feelings, even where they are not very strong, always have a serious cause.

If it is something that happened long ago, we may just get a ripple of it, as it affected many and spread out over many descendents.

 If the feeling is very strong inside us, it could be more recent, and it could also be a past life of our own. Again the method is always the same: We let peace return to wherever the constellation takes us. We encounter unresolved matters of life and death, deeply imprinted in a range of storage facilities, one of them being our body. We are taken to the places, events, and people that were involved in the issue that still raises its voice inside us.

 

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

Remaining in love

I would like to say something about love, but differently to what you perhaps expect. Sometimes we hear the word: “Remain in love!” What does it mean, remaining in love? We know the love of connectedness. We are connected to our parents in a special way, to our life partners, and to our children. Because we are so closely tied to them, we are at the same time separate from others.

Remaining in love means that everything is loved, as it is, that everything is taken into our soul, as it is. It means that we agree to life as a whole, as it is, exactly as it is, to the life of others, as it is, to all of creation, as it is, exactly as it is.

Struggle is also an essential part of life. The life of the individual is struggling with the life of others for a place. If we remain in love, we also love the oppositions, the struggle, victory and demise. We love life and dying,  we love the living and the dead. We live the past as it was, and the future as it comes, exactly as it comes. In this love we are wide open and in accord with everything, in agreement with everything.

This love is surrender to the whole. This is the real religion. In this love we are full and composed. We can look at life as it unfolds. We are in surrender to our own fate and we respect the fate of others and the fate of the world. Being in surrender to the whole in this way means being in loving surrender to the whole, remaining in love. 

This has consequences for our daily life. those remaining in love this way can look at everything as it is: at happiness and at misfortune, at life and at death, at entanglement and at suffering. Loving the whole and devoted to the whole, they are sometimes at work in the flow of life, without arrogation, always in unison and in agreement. Helping in this way, they are without worry and they are free. those receiving their help are also free. All are equally great and equally important. Within the whole nobody is better or worse. In the whole we are simply there.

In constellations we are given the gift of  being able to truly integrate more into our life, such as rejected ancestors. The wonderful thing is, this makes us more complete, richer, literally more abundant. We can love far more easily, we can embrace life far more easily. We become more optimistic.

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

We had quite a lot of body related issues recently, and the richness of reconciliation that resolved from them was a gift to all participants.

This is another wonderful quality of constellation work: It is always a shared adventure, creating various healing and increased wholeness in all participants, and where people participate over a longer time, it creates a very generous sense for the ways we are as individuals, and this generosity begins within ourselves, for ourselves. So doing something for ourselves does not remain a self-centred affair, instead, in the end everyone has found something in the experience that frees up our breath and our heart a little more. As we create more oneness inside, oneness between us grows, and oneness beyond us. We become tolerant towards, and even understanding of, people that we had never looked at in this way before.

With best wishes for more oneness and wholeness and love inside us and around us all , Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations   Newsletter AUGUST  2012                        

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in August

that is this coming  Sunday 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

How is your consciousness going? Are you happy with it? Does it support you well? Does it guide you?

Where are the limits of what our consciousness can touch, and therefore also include? Do we want to go further? Are we not still just preschoolers, and therefore we have great worlds to explore ahead of us?

Bert says what the present crisis on earth needs above all is a change in consciousness. Not just our individual one, of course, but the shared one.

Do we see our consciousness as our ‘tool’ number one, as the space in which we live, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat? Are we observing what our state of mind does to us?

What is consciousness anyway? And in what kind of states does it come? We know we can be unaware of what is asleep inside us, so things can live in our subconscious for a long time. Something can break through into consciousness any time, a long suppressed pain for instance, that is not even ours, but that of ancestors of ours, or ours from another time.

But equally, we can keep also keep our high dreams in suppression, our dreams for life and love, for the welfare of the whole planet, and they can also break free into consciousness and change our life.

From what kind of consciousness do we expect some healing and true growth? And the other half of the question is: What is love? How far can one go without the other? Or are they just the two sides of the coin, ready to turn into a sphere instead?

Conscious thought-love has the power to touch. We like to let people know they are in our thoughts and in our heart. The motive comes from our will to good. Our willingness to suspend our attitudes and feelings are the entry tickets here. Only in the state of being a conduit can we invite other powers to join in and help. Therefore, regarding constellations, the wordless ones are the deepest and most powerful. It is wonderful to see Bert in this non-doing presence. Magic unfolds and pours forth.

Do we feel powerless when it comes to the larger trauma and excessive risks our planet is exposed to, through human beings - like us - or perhaps we can’t face it that we are the same humans as those who are utterly reckless?

Do countries have a soul too? I like to look at the souls of nations, to understand them better through their history, their special circumstances, their trauma, and their responses.
Can countries suffer from trauma, just as individuals do?

Writing this, I draw on the experience I had when I represented Hungary in a country constellation for Hungary that Bert had been asked to do, by Hungarians who were concerned about the changing mentality of their fellow Hungarians.
The transformation I went through as Hungary was amazing. From being very traumatized, to a point of soul paralysis, I literally regained consciousness to quite an extent. There was no intervention at all, more than an hour of completely recollected silent movement. Even though a number of painful screams and frightening roaring pierced the silence, many people sobbing throughout the constellation. But the inner healing had so many overtones, the soul found herself again, above all, it found its spiritual connection again. The soul of Hungary remembered her sacred origin. If we see constellations as a drop of homeopathy, this might be a small contribution to restoring wholeness in the soul of a country/nation.

 

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

      Surrender

         We go into our body. 

        In our body and in what is taking place in it all the time, 
we meet a creative power.
From this power comes  our life as it is. 
This power keeps us alive with an all-encompassing attention and love.
When something in our body is in distress, 
help comes from this power. 
When a wound is healing, 
this power is at work in us.
We look at this power with awe. We surrender to it with deepest devotion, 
with our deepest trust. 
To this power we offer our illness and everything that grieves us. Through our illness and our pain this power leads us to a fuller life, to the wholeness of life. 
It brings us into connection with all who belong to us, 
so that we and they become well again.
Now we look at someone close to us, at someone who is ill. 
In this person we also see this power at work 
and we direct our concern for the other towards this power. 
This power alone does the caring. We help others first of all 
by handing our concerns over to this power. 
We entrust this power with all our concerns.

Do we like to take the ultra-stoic position, as it is seen by many as a highly evolved position: All happens as is meant to be? Or: The planet will survive this, too, even though it might take a long time. 
In WW2  there was a Mr. Churchill who felt when the dark side plays up, the side of light has to join in. These days we may have some more alternatives. 
Where do you stand (at the moment) concerning consciousness?

Do you feel your consciousness matters? To the extent that it can help bring about changes for the better, together with others? As we see in many AVAAZ campaigns? If so, how does it do that?

We know that very many aspects of our consciousness  can be existing in a subconscious state. This could mean, something  had not yet reached the conscious part of our consciousness, or it was repressed again, pushed down under.
Do you believe everything does have, in principle, some consciousness, which could become more conscious, through growth, through healing, through connecting? And yes the two are quite related as much of our growing happens through pain and then healing, to find we can embrace more after this experience. 

Do we feel our consciousness can be in the service of peace, of healing, of reconciliation, and even of new creations?

Or more carefully phrased, does it make sense to us to work on our consciousness so that we make it a more suitable tool? Or further still, do we ask for help that our consciousness might overcome more and more obstacles? How do you assess your consciousness? What are your criteria?

What do you like doing with your consciousness? What would you like your consciousness to be able to do? Have you ever made a list? Have you ever considered that it is your consciousness that might still keep you away from something? Do you feel you are aware of the holes in your consciousness were?

Do we believe that our consciousness can contribute to a better future? Is it important to us to observe our thinking and feeling in this regard and to heal our consciousness from our own old wounds, so that it can operate at a loving/creative level?

Now I would like to think that we can offer the skills and the love we have, not in the illusions that we are the healers, but willingly contributing the part of our awareness that contains love and hope and goodwill for all.

There is a quality of heart-mind, the complete fusion of loving thinking and mindful feeling, that reaches the purity of homeopathic medicine. In this state our heart is beyond gravity, therefore not adding any of its own weight to the matter, rather offering some weightlessness, thus hovering gently near something that is still squashed to over-density. A bit like something that might need to explode because the containing powers are strained to breaking point.

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A bit like an atom bomb or the fuel rods on the Fukushima reactors, that would need just a little wiggle.

So it is as if this part of the planet, together with the people who refuse to face their responsibility, need to be literally uplifted, ever so softly, into a safer space, both for strained humans and for strained matter, to a place where redemption is possible.

Fukushima has been on my mind intensely the last month. The more I read up, the bigger the issue became. It was also a journey for me, from simple outright anger about the refusal of Japanese officials to deal with the issue. Well, I am not proud of that. I felt I do not understand the widespread Japanese ways of thinking and feeling, except for the percentage of people that rise above this morass of simply not responding and blanking out. Only recently were there big demonstrations about the government opening another nuclear plant. Losing face is a more important issue than the danger of causing the whole planet to become deadly irradiated. I felt I needed to understand more.

I still don’t understand them any better now. But as I read more, I understood something about myself, namely, that anger is a more pleasant feeling to entertain than that deep grief, that overcame me a few days later while watching a documentary about Japan.

I read further, wondering why other countries did not offer their help, why the best experts of the world, equipped with enough resources, were not working away in Japan. Any village in a district would consider it normal to go and help, and especially if the problem in one afflicted village could take them all down. Why is Fukushima not addressed as an urgent UN issue?

Then I read from sources credible to me that other nuclear powers are also quite lackadaisical about their nuclear power plants. More autistic people as decision makers. Just individuals  swimming against the who cares - stream.

Do we want to look at these issues, in positive way? We know Marshall Rosenberg’s model for example, and amongst ourselves we can experiment in a good way.
Now would it not be wonderful if we could melt our own hearts some more, and then even those of others, too, and if others could melt as again, when we stray far off the mark? Basically it just takes the courage to come back into the heart.

Wishing us all a heart and a mind of light

With Love, Geli,

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations  Newsletter July 2012                       

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in July

that is this coming  Sunday 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

We’re living at a crucial time where changes inside us are of utmost importance. What stops up from feeling how we would love to feel – joyous, loving, and peaceful? How wonderful would it be if we could base our daily life on the feelings that make us happy? 
The text today is about the way out of a trauma in which love, trust, happiness were injured. Bert describes a simple, natural way that undoes the hurt by going through the pain, experiencing it and expressing it in purity as it were, staying with our feelings, until they can settle down.

While translating one of the most recent books of Bert Hellinger’s, a text he simply called “Felt” made me pause longer than usual.
He begins: When we think something, we feel it in our head. The rest of our body remains untouched. It leaves us cold as it were.

  He goes on: As soon as a view or an insight or an experience touch us deeply, our thinking stops. It recedes into the background, for we feel it in our body, especially in the chest and with the heart. In contrast to thinking, this feeling becomes an experience capturing all our senses. Only in feeling do we experience being whole

I have the sense that what Bert describes used to be possible in ancient matriarchal tribes that lived of the land. Hunter societies living in places that made surviving hard, would have forced early humans to become  very tough. There was no time to mourn and to heal, one had to keep on dealing with the struggle to survive, pushing pain out of awareness the best one could...

The tough approach may have been successful for some. One expects the blows of life and still remains in agreement to t life. Many people have learned to bully their way through life, and eventually even have a sense of pride about it. The deeper feelings are quite dormant which will reinforce their approach to life

The modern version of this we see in war situations, where men have to be tough, no matter what, and support consists of brushing over the pain and keeping on going. Perhaps, or, hopefully, WW2 was the worst along those lines. So all in all, suppressing pain, suppressing feelings, blaming the other side, going into rage mode, retaliating, becoming tough, closing one’ heart off, have been survival modes for a long time. Trauma was swallowed and could then be turned into an apparent absence of care.

Whole societies were built around fighting as their life style, and seeing themselves as proud warriors. There is a point when the flow of adrenaline makes a predator, animal or human, very comfortable, not in their heart feelings, but in their physical sensations. 
In many ways of relating that do not lead to friendliness and ease between people, one can still see ancient survival modes at work, mixed in with more recent ones.

Here we have what Bert describes in the next paragraph: Above all else, this holds true for love. It begins in our feeling and it lasts for as long as we feel it. Everything that interferes with this love is thought, and only afterwards it is felt in a way that pushes the original feeling in the background.

 

Guided 

Meditation

with Bert

Hellinger

      Surrender

         We go into our body. 

        In our body and in what is taking place in it all the time, 
we meet a creative power.
From this power comes  our life as it is. 
This power keeps us alive with an all-encompassing attention and love.
When something in our body is in distress, 
help comes from this power. 
When a wound is healing, 
this power is at work in us.
We look at this power with awe. We surrender to it with deepest devotion, 
with our deepest trust. 
To this power we offer our illness and everything that grieves us. Through our illness and our pain this power leads us to a fuller life, to the wholeness of life. 
It brings us into connection with all who belong to us, 
so that we and they become well again.
Now we look at someone close to us, at someone who is ill. 
In this person we also see this power at work 
and we direct our concern for the other towards this power. 
This power alone does the caring. We help others first of all 
by handing our concerns over to this power. 
We entrust this power with all our concerns.

Here we have the strategies of trying to make us feel better by talking ourselves or others out of some pain. We find reasons why the pain is not so big, why the love should not be so deep, how someone is not worthy of so much love, that it is not so bad after all.
The trouble is, feelings are far more deeply rooted in us than thought. So if we want to fight our feelings with thought we remain on a surface that does not have much weight in our soul. The effect is that we now add another layer of alienation from our deeper being. We create some third reality that does not have much power over us. So we oscillate between positions and cannot move on. All attempts to ‘get rid of’ pain by throwing it back to the real or projected offender, do nothing to restore peace inside us or in any relationship. They jump back at us and at its worst, self-loathing can develop.

Bert continues:  How do we escape this feeling that separates? We unhook it from our thoughts and return to the first feeling.
From my own experience I can say that I only found peace after what was my deepest shock in this life, when I fully owned my love and somehow erased everything that could get in the way, such as:  But remember how terrible this was and... Once I gave this love a good and sufficiently large place in myself, I was fine.

  Bert continues: Other than to our thoughts this also applies to our inner images. They are also thought. They process a feeling and thereby they take their original power away. For instance the painful feelings of an early separation. Instead of  letting these painful feelings take their course, no matter how intense they were, they are now remembered, rather than felt. We think about them with the help of images, instead of feeling the painful feelings so deeply that they can finally calm down, and the original feeling of love can be there and show itself again.

I have gone into this because so many of us know and feel – with their heart - that this is no longer a very useful approach to life.

So how can we change over?
How can we phase out the strategies that do not serve the well-being of earth’s inhabitants, including ourselves?
We really need to attend to trauma, for otherwise we are at risk of re-perpetrating or of being dejected to the point on victimhood, often both of these at the same time.

This also applies very much to the traumata in our childhood and in our family life.
Bert puts it this way: Most importantly, the full experience of these feelings will allow those from whom we were separated to turn to us again with their love, so that the old wounds can heal and be forgotten.

Bert continues: What matters above all in this? That we become aware when we move away from our original feelings, when we avoid them because they were too painful, when we prefer to form images about it, instead of remaining with the original feelings and living through them until they have emptied themselves.

Here we see that accusations and rationalizations only keep us away from healing, as they only contort our thinking and feeling, and keep us trapped there. Rage is a defence instinct of an attacked animal, and in humans it becomes a terribly destructive illness. Bitterness eats sweetness up, even though for a while when pain is unbearable they may conjure up some feeling of pseudo strength- for a short time, and at a high price. Many addictions find their place here as well.

The true healing can only come from delving into the deeper layers of pain, to a depth where we find our real feelings. Grief and fear are authentic feelings. We can get frozen in them, but we can also become unfrozen. They are pure, and transformation can happen. Love restores itself amidst grief, trust restores itself amidst fear, moments of stillness enter, and space opens again. 

 

 

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here we can be restored. Our pure, non-accusing vulnerability makes it hard for whoever hurt us not to feel.

Grief can be comforted and fear can be soothed.

Here we can see how beneficial it would be to be brought back to safety, to be comforted so securely that we can realize: It is over.

What do we need to really feel? That what hurt us so much is now in the past.

We need to go back before the time of trauma, to reunite with our self when it still felt whole. Whole, that means, happily belonging to those and to what is essential to us.

This can often be done.

In some instances where the trauma is right at the beginning of conception we have to go back further still, into an earlier life.

The depth of healing  provides the place, the time, the patience, the support, the security, that allows us to go through the trauma, feel it in its completion to such an extent that the feeling itself feel we now feel secure: Seen, heard, held, understood, allowed to go through it in its completion. Every feeling of ours around the trauma finds a place then, a place where we can finally leave it be. More dimensions may come up, and again, in the same space of being heard-seen-understood-loved-held the next aspect can unravel itself. We can recover more and more of our wholeness.

Here we take back all externalizations. Then our pain becomes strangely pure. Sanity returns, to the degree that we feel strong enough to face the pain. Pain as such is not the most unbearable thing. When love is by our side, we can bear much. When this love that matches the purity of our pain is by our side, we can bear and overcome much.

We are restored. Our pure, non-accusing vulnerability makes it hard for whoever hurt us not to feel.

The restoring of our feelings and of our belonging brings benefits far beyond these.
Out of restored wholeness grows a wholeness much greater than the one we knew before.

Bert again: What happens to our love? It flourishes again. 

There are also spiritual feelings. They also take hold of us completely. For instance in listening to great music. We feel carried by it and taken along far beyond our daily life, with a sense of elevation. At the same time we feel deeply at one with those who share this experience with us. On this level all separation ends.

The deepest feelings are those uniting us. They move us most deeply.

What is the result? A deeply shared happiness.

 

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations  Newsletter June 2012                       

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in June 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

Dear old and new friends,

I have just realized that it was Whitsunday this last weekend. Should not really matter what kind of a  day it is, but after so many years of exposure to family-constellations, it strangely does mean something, because family-constellations are about the communication between human beings and higher powers in some form. Who – after direct and trusting exposure to constellations – could deny that there are inexplicable energies at work.

All my life I have been wondering about intuition, a word that means, something is put into us through the roof (tui), that is our head. Even though the old Romans were not exactly of the spiritual kind, something must have survived in their language. In Latin, there is no active form to this. So I cannot say: I intuit something. I can only say: “I am being intuited, I am receiving something.” Intuition is always surprising in how it comes, it comes when not expected, or we are empty and still enough, and sometimes also when we really need it.

And we can have it reaching us on many levels. It can come just as a feeling. Or there can be words or scenes, dreams and images. And as Bert points our, the imperceptible support can even go beyond this. We can literally become one with the person we represent, with their deeper layers, for the time of the constellation.

This has been testified for many participants.

Some of these connections were very touching. In NZ we had a constellation that included military action between NZ soldiers and Japanese in the grandparents’ generation. Reconciliation between a group of Kiwi soldiers and some Japanese soldiers was required. One man took on the representation of the major proponent the Japanese side, in some rather traumatizing action between Japanese and NZ soldiers. It was a slow and painful constellation. But we gained some ground for reconciliation, and there was respect for all. The next morning we gathered for a round. The representative of the major Japanese proponent had red eyes. I gently asked him if he wanted to tell us something. He was quite overcome by emotions, which did not seem to a very familiar place to him.

With tears barely held back, he could only manage to tell us that he had dreamt of the Japanese soldier he represented;  the Japanese man stood before him and thanked him, for seeing his pain and for giving him a place back, amongst human beings.

Another man reported a similar dream after a constellation where a father had made a very difficult decision, that weighed heavily on him. Yet he had done it with love and the best intention for all. Again, it was gratitude for being seen, first by us in the group but soon afterwards by the real people that were represented in the constellation for this family.

In constellation we can rely on this intuition to be given to us. And often several of us have the same impressions. We can share them and find they match. In constellations we have a commitment to be available to serve one another and the greater whole, in finding more and more love for more and more people, and a willingness to hand over to reconciliation and peace, so the next step for humanity can be taken, a step beyond all the fierce polarizations

Intuition is always something that serves reconciliation and peace, beginning with the immediate and spreading further.

Whilst the whole process happens in ongoing guidance,

we also can look at some little chunks of relationships, provided our motives are right and we are given permission to represent from above.

I still find it overwhelmingly wonderful after so many years how we are never let down. Some matters may not be ready as yet. to open up for healing, but there is always a lot to receive and be grateful for.  

It is important that we remain small and receptive. In a sensitive group we will take notice of what we are allowed to do and what not.

In case of doubt, we can ask.

At one time we were not sure if we could place a representative for a specific person. So we just tested it. I put a small mat down, and we approached it slowly and carefully. Half a meter away from this mat something like an electric current came from the mat that clearly expressed a no. But we were allowed to leave the mat where it was, which meant, including that person but without a representative. 

 


Bert's 

Poem:

The Players

 

The Players

           They greet each other

            as opponents.

            Then they sit opposite 

           each other

              And play together

           On one board

            With a variety of pieces

            Following complex 

            ancient rules.

             Move by move,

            The same 

           old royal game.

 

               To their game  

            both sacrifice

             A range of pieces

             And tensely 

         hold each other in check

         Until the movement 

       is completed.

            When nothing further 

         can be done

          The game is over,

         Then they change sides

        And colours,

       And of the same old game

          another match begins again.

 

         But those who play 

         for a long time

        And win a lot,

           And  loose a lot,

They gain mastery

On both sides.

 

In any case, whomever we represent, it can only happen in a willingness to be of service to this person. I remember a constellation about three sisters who were separated from their mother as little girls. They lived with the father and the father’s mother. They wrote to their mother but never had an answer.

One of the sisters came for a constellation because she and her two sisters had not been in contact for over twenty years. And neither did they have any contact with their mother whom they had not seen since they were children.

Placing  mother, father, and the sisters in a constellations, nobody could go to anyone. The mother stood far away from the others, the sisters could not go to her or to each other, and certainly not to the father. 

Nothing seemed to help the sisters to come together. Each one felt excluded and alone and unable to move. All three were frightened of their father and felt abandoned by their mother, and were uncertain of each other.

Then I had the idea to put a mat on the floor for the father, at a safe distance from them.

I suggested they could stand in their father’s place for a moment, so they could feel how he feels. 
Reluctantly one sister went to the mat and stepped on it.

Language can be such a wonderful thing. Not just a word arbitrarily used to signify something, but already describing the process.

Under-standing, we stand under something. If we come from the heart, we stand under the pitcher of  intuition. Then, in standing in another’s person’s place, we can feel them from the inside, not in their behaviours, but deeper down, in their distress, and even deeper still, in their fate. We also know this from the American Indians that one needs to walk in another’s moccasins before we can know them. 

After a while each sister had stood in her father’s place, and all three under-stood something about him. They felt how terrible it was to be in his place. This eased the pain and suffering they had endured from him. They could feel he had acted from deep despair and confusion. From then on they could go towards each other, and in the constellation they ended up as a beautiful loving bunch of three.

When the sister who had come to our constellation group, arrived back home, one sister had already rung her, and the other one joined them a few days later. She told me later that the three sisters had also find out why their mother had never answered their letters. With their hearts open for their mother’s pain, they managed to find her and reunite deeply with her, now remaining in close contact with her.
If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you have the feeling you are an individual, just you yourself, or do you sometimes feel there are more people inside you that want to be heard, seen, felt, allowed to express themselves?

Looking at it logically, we as human have been around for a very long time, we have sooo many ancestors, that we also share with soo many people. 

If we accept reincarnation it becomes even clearer.

If we are at the forefront of a great many people who came before us, and who perhaps will come after us, it does not some so unlikely that some may want to join us to have some experience with us, before they come back again.

In my family I have a very distinct feeling of a child being lovingly accompanied by someone from earlier generations. This person is around a child, in a good way, just participating in the child’s experiences, which gives this ancestor a new view on things, which again can equip this ancestor better from a new life, as some trauma may be healed just be seeing how different life can be.

Do you know the feeling that you feel something, or a face looks at you out of your mirror that you do not even know? Have you ever caught yourself doing something that was not your intention at all, or the opposite of what you felt you wanted?

Have you had the experience of sabotaging something you wanted last minute?  Have you experienced the feeling that your mood changes drastically in an instant, without any outer change having occurred?

Some of you may have had a number of such experience, some of these ‘visitors’ may even seem familiar, as they visit frequently.

Through constellations we can befriend them, we can find out what they need and help them to find peace. Mostly they are people who are no longer alive, and yet something is still missing for them to be able to move on. When we can find what they still need and bring the people involved onto the stage, wonderful changes do occur.

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

 

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter May 2012  

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in May 

 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

Mother's day is upon us.

How do we feel?

 

Will you be spending time with your mother?

It that is not possible, can you imagine seeing her? Can you, in real life or in your heart, see yourself taking her into your arms, letting her take you into her arms, with all the warmth of mother-love, with the whole love that you know?

Do you feel her full love for you, and yours for her? Can you say to her what you read in Bert’s meditation? Well, if yes, then you are truly celebrating your mother and your life as well.

Our mother gave us life. She also provided us with the experience of bliss, in the early months of our life inside her, and she also provided us with the first- often frightening challenge at our birth. And she felt for us and she also risked her health and in some cases even her life for us.

 

When we can say Yes to life as it is, with all it entails, we can live fully. 
(I know that it still in the future for many of us, but step by step we can feel more and more that way.)   In so called good experiences we can just be happy, and in the difficult and challenging ones we can say: Well, here I am, with a big challenge. What’s the best way of meeting it? This means, we can makes use of our challenges as the incentive to grow.

 

When we can say Yes to our mother we have a big obstacle stepping aside, and we can trust we have her full support behind us, whether she is still on this earth or elsewhere.

 

Very often our challenge is still with us, being able to feel this way about our mother, loving her as she is, as the mother that fate, coincidence, or the Great guiding power gave to us.

 

This is not an issue we can solve just with good intention, and even less so with a sense of duty, that we ‘should ‘ love our mother. we can come closer if we have the courage to admit how much we would like it to be that way.

 

Now please take a little detour with me.

The little newborn child you see in the other side, who came to your mind first? Perhaps your firstborn, if you have children? Perhaps yourself?

Well, my maternal grandmother had 8 sisters, I did not know all of them, but from my mother I got this sense of belonging between them, how all children had the feeling, and of these mothers/ grandmothers would look after them.

I called them my mothers. The mothers, for me that expresses the sense of motherhood much more truthfully. I wrote an image I called “The time of the mothers.” The women looked after the children together, so children grew up with a wonderful sense of security, which our friend Debbie still knows from her New Guinean side of the family. To me, this is the real and full sense of motherhood, when all the women can join their hearts to care for all the children, and take care the planet stays well enough to be a safe and providing home.

 

Now back to the baby photo.

Have you got time to do this very slowly?

 

Because I would like you to see your mother in this baby, or better still, to get a baby photo of your mother, and look at it. 

And perhaps you can even find a baby photo of your grandmother!

 

This time round we were born from the person who was this little baby. 

She started just like us. An embryo in her mother, your grandmother, who was the mother for her. We used to do all the mother’s day things for our grandmothers as well, thanking them, too. for giving them our mother. When we do this, we also think of the hardships that the grandmothers on both side had to go through, that made their life difficult, painful, stressful, but our mother came along. And so we go back for generations. People lived and laughed, suffered and persevered, and life went on.

The scars that we might see in our mothers, we might interpret as our mother not loving us fully, not appreciating us fully, or even as rejecting and hurting us.

And these things we may take very personally. This leaves us with: “I don’t really know how my mother feels about me. I don’t feel her blessing, her support, or certainly not enough. There are things I still resent.”

Well, if you have such feelings, go to your grandmother, in the outer world if you can, or else in the inner. There is a secret about grandmothers. In more than 90 percent of all cases, a grandchild has the capacity to melt them into the ground. Whatever they may not have been able to pass on to their children, they can give it to the grandchildren, because now they are older and have a wider perspective. ( in the remaining ten percent one goes to the great-grandmother, rarely you have to go down the line further, but in china for instance, where women were very suppressed, you just keep on going back until the pack of cards turns around, and you suddenly find yourself in your mother’s arms. And if you have children, you will feel you can hold your own children with the powerful love of all the combined mothers’ love.

If you find it hard to do this on your own,  a constellation might help. 


Thanksgiving

at 

the morning of life

This is 

a meditation 

that Bert gave us 

...........................

.Bert cites it sometimes after 
a session of re-experiencing birth,
and a healing recapitulation 
of our childhood and youth, 

Full of fresh gratefulness and
 renewed zest for life
.

When we feel like newly born, 
with a sense of: 
|
Wow, I made it! 

I am in the arms of my mother.
All is well!

Thank you, dear mum.

I take it from you. All of it.

I take it from you to the full price it has cost you,

And that it costs me.

I’ll do something with it.

To make you happy.

I hold it tight, and I honour it.

And if I may, I will pass it on, like you did.

I take you as your mother.

And you may have me as your child.

You are the right one for me.

And I am the right child for you.

You are the big one.

I am the little one.

You give.

I take.

Dear mummy.

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
               

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter April 2012  

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
The first 
Sunday in April

 
which is the first of April 
 

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends,

Why do we do constellation work? To begin with, it might be to get rid of an uncomfortable feeling, a sense if unease inside, we would like it to disappear. making something go away has a human effort and intention for a very long time. Everyone wants pain, fear, confusion, distress to go away. Most of the modern medical techniques are geared to just that.

Now we can really ask for a lot more. We can ask for something good to be restored, even if to this point we have not experienced it. We know that constellations restore well being, confidence, clarity, and ease, and it happens always through inclusion, through opening up, through calmly facing what is now. 

What is our major tool in constellations? I think it is a sensitive, open, welcoming love. We form a field of love, we unite in a space of love, and we become carriers and instruments of love.

The other night, after reading just a few lines in one of Grabovoi's books, I ended up pondering about love. Strangely I had to do it out loud, I had to speak it, so I could look at what I said, including a lot of "Well, I don't know but perhaps.."  Everything I said was just conjecture as it became less and less tangible. It was not about kind things we do, let alone personal feelings, it was far more abstract.

It was more like describing the expansion of the Cosmos, so that everything in existence has more room to move. Perhaps (the growth of) love is only possible now because the Cosmos has expanded enough to give it room, at least on our little human level. Love seemed to be this comfortable room inside everything and between everything, down to subatomic particles, a world full of glorious options, room in which to breathe comfortably, to move comfortably, to explore, to invite others into, to experiment with, to float in, to expand time as well.

I feel, in a group of comfortable, seasoned constellation friends, we do just that. We open up, we speak with trust into a welcoming space, we let our tentative thoughts and flashes of visions and other information float into a friendly space that appears to work with us, like the unseen director of the play that is coming together. Every step of the way is improvised, we do not know what is coming together, and we are without instructions other than express what is really coming to us in this moment and letting it resonate in us and among us. 

We have learned to trust the source of our insights, inklings even, images, whatever channel something may come to us, each contribution is embraced by the other participants,  left in this unknown space win which we begin to find an orientation, together. until we are amazed how  the multi dimensional jig saw pieces are coming together in a magical play.

Did  we get healing? Especially the seeking person? Something that was floating alone in some lost space has found something to which it can gravitate, because it is something to which it belongs. A feelings has found its place, perhaps the place where its regret or its tears have their home. 

Did we get rid of something? Only in one sense: Any discomfort in the body is a language of the soul: Something is waiting for redemption and re-inclusion. The discomfort has guided us, and in the end it is transformed. Not just from some idea of minus to some idea of plus, but rather, we listened to something, and empty of any questions we asked, and we were heard and received something that gave us all some inner riches. 

More and more I feel constellations are a wonderful training ground for new qualities and new ways of working together, towards transformations of smaller love to ever-expanding love,  found together and shared more and more consciously, for the good of all, with no downside.

In the direction of where the writer of what is in the right column is pointing us. He is not just writing. He is being it already.

So, I feel  Bert is preparing us for a future of love that is already awaiting  us. One place is certainly in Russia, amongst the New Russian healers. 
In some countries miracles are considered normal

The New Russian Healers

Bert Hellinger shares my great joy about the New Russian Healers. 
This makes me even happier, of course.
To me these Russians are on a truly amazing path of sharing  healing and transformation on every imaginable level. 
They incorporate science and clairvoyance into their deep faith that has only one credo: Love

Love can and will transform the world, into its true and deep potential, with endless creativity.. 

To the degree that we can resonate with the depth of what love is meant to be in its full state, 
miracles will perhaps begin to happen in our lives also.

When I asked Bert what he thought 
of Grabovoi and Petrov and their companions he said:

"Here lies the future.
"

Grigori Grabovoi says to us:

HUMAN BEING!

You are the World – You are Eternity

You have immense powers

Your options are limitless

You are the embodiment 
of the Creator

His spirit is in you

Through His will power 
you change the world

His love is in you

Love all living things, 
like He, who created you

Don’t exacerbate your heart

Think of the good -  
create the good

The good will return with durability
Love will give immortality

Faith – Hope -  Wisdom

Faith and love will revive 
your invisible forces

And you’ll get what you’ve hoped for –
Immortality, which is the law of life,
Just like life – 
it is the trace of eternity

Create to live in eternity

Live to create eternity.

So, in this sense we listened to what unfolded from a major gland in one of us. Details about a story that resonated so clearly for the person with the quest, will have to wait, as often things need their incubation time. We will know when it can be shared for the benefit of all.

If you have any questions, you can contact me. 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre-consultation 
on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
                

Another constellation was about an island. What an amazing piece of mythology unfolded! But I must leave it here for today.

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 


                                             

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter March 2012  

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat:
This coming 
Sunday 

 
The first Sunday in March as usual. 
At the Sunshine Coast:
 no mid-month group for Doonan this month either

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends

Our last Sunday was full of magic again. In one constellation we had four symptoms in one person. They meant he was not free to go in either direction, neither forward nor backward, neither to the left nor to the right. There stood his representative, unable to move, and in discomfort. Someone  in the group was guided to come in as a spirit helper, to move the obstacles on the sides just a little further out. So at least breathing became easier. What unfolded? Another war scene. People were trapped with no way out, but still wanting to make a stand how much they loved their homelands. Backwards was no option. There was too much danger. Forward? There was also much danger, but there appeared to be more room to move. 
A dialogue between a son and a father developed. The son preferred do die in action. At first the father wanted to stop his son. So blocking the forward movement was an act of love. The father preferred to stay and die at home, in his house. Finally he let his son do what he needed to do, with love. There were no right and no wrong options left. After a while the son came back from a scene of fighting, and the father awaited him. The son said: Now I don’t know where to go. The father put his arm around his son and told him: “This is our land because we have loved it and cared for it for so long. Nothing can take the love between us and our land away from us.” 
Now they seemed to realize that they were both dead. (We see this often in constellations especially when we are dealing with war, but also with other sudden death.) They found their peace in themselves and together. They sat down as the souls, and their descendent curled up on their arms. They held each other for a long time. Now the living and the dead shared the same peace. The dead were free to go on their big journey, and the descendent was free to move in all four directions. He reported a great increase in physical and emotional freedom to move, and in joy of living.  

 

 

 

How is your love?

In the book I am presently translating for Bert, he uses the expression “Your love”, for instance “This will help your love”.
What do you think of first when you hear “Your love”, or “This will help your love.”?

Yes, I know, but this is not what he means. It feels as if he is talking about love as a being that is with us, ready to serve us and others, when we are on good terms with it and let it take the lead. Well, we grow anyway, but it seems these days  there are some offers of doing it less painfully and slowly.

I thought about that, love as an entity Imagine love is a huge being that has as many children as there are beings who are capable of feeling love, responding with love, acting with love, thinking with love, growing in love, extending in love... Imagine we have “our love” with us as a companion with whom we can communicate. And someone asks us: “And how is your companion?”

Seems  a worthwhile project to explore to me.

A lovely young friend asked me what can she do about the despair in her.

My dear, I will not mention your name here, but you will know it is written for you. But I will also answer in a way that many other people can relate to it. So you see you are not alone in this suffering.  
I speak from many years of walking through my ancestors’ dark forest that was also mine from other lives. It was well worth the journey.
Most of us have some themes of distress that come up again and again.

Our first approach is, we just want to get rid of the discomfort, even agony, like a child. Never mind how. In the extreme, this sense of unbearable-ness drives people into drugs and other substances and also extreme behaviours.

A child wants warm arms around it when it is in pain or fear or some other distress, and we are often still children when we are sufficiently distressed.

Perhaps imagine first of all that you can cuddle up in the arms of someone you really trust. And perhaps you need to cry for a while before you can do the next step. Once the tears flow naturally, you have already found quite some comfort. When you cry, cry with and also for those who also suffered in hard realities. This is a good place from which to arrive at deep compassion. Now that you feel more secure, let us just imagine you could slow these feelings down, and instead of avoiding, you could even look at them and feel them.

So your breath is now beginning to calm down, you breathe out. You begin to realize you are still here, your life is not really threatened, even though it feels like this. You begin to tell apart what goes on inside you and what your outer reality is like. You begin to feel two sides in you: The observed, and the observer. The observer becomes calmer, and looks with warm love at the one in pain, and together, in a dialogue, the two explore the feeling of despair that goes on in one of them. And imagine your ancestors by your side for whom these were not just feelings, but their grim reality

And you look at China, where people have suffered so many tragedies, where there was reason for despair so often, and for so many. And yet, so many were so brave, under most horrendous circumstances.

Something I have observed many times: When our ancestors suffered real losses, (this means, loved ones died tragically, even many of them,) the descendents will experience a resonating pain in an unhappy love. And all the despair of parents, grandparents, or their ancestors further down the line will join in.

It is the children of those who suffered more than what they could ever come to terms with, who will begin to process the level of feeling. They can do so, because they are not caught in a survival situation that needs all their strength for real survival. But the intensity of the feelings is so strong that it can feel to the descendents as if their survival is also at stake.

This is the way it goes. Where you have wars and other large scale tragedies, it takes generations to heal, to really heal, not just survive, scarred and crippled.

Then additionally, we might have been there ourselves in an earlier incarnation, perhaps only very dimly aware of it. This then adds more disorientation to this pain.

Now back to your personal situation. The constellation showed very clearly that your boyfriend loves you. But he also has to carry a load. The pain of Russia met with the pain of China. If the two of you look at this as just a personal problem the two of you have, this would truly be overwhelming. 
Our instinctual response is: “You terrible feeling, go away!” But it does not. Why not? Because it is not just a meaningless thing descending upon us, but something that holds gifts inside, even great gifts.

What is needed here is some loving distance, in the sense of more space so that things can unravel. A distressed soul in a distressed body has very little room to move, everything is tensed up. So whatever helps easing the tightness, without causing other problems, will be of help. I am talking about relaxation and meditation practices. I suggest a method that involves the body, like Yoga Nidra or autogenic training or Vipassana, rather than a mantra or so. The relaxation in themselves will not bring the full cure, but with greater ease they can contribute to new ways of looking at the problem.

If you have any questions, you can contact me 
Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
 
including
a pre- consultation on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 
                             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What can often help to mellow people? Friendliness, calmness, understanding, communication, seeing and hearing the other. Any symptom, be it in our body, in our soul, or somewhere in our life, they all hold a story that has not been heard, they hold people who died in a state of being lost. Your Tao traditions know this. There is the practice of befriending a troubled organ, talking to it kindly and eventually finding out what this organ needs.  Each organ is needed, for us to be alive and well.

So it makes sense to treat them all kindly, and if they hurt, they need help, or better treatment from us.

Now in the same way you can have despair as your companion who will turn from a threat into a valued friend who provides you with just what you need to heal and to grow.
Because this is the amazing thing: Each problem is there to be healed. And healing is far more than just restoring an earlier state. It is always bringing about a state of greater wholeness. It is the disease that leads to greater ease. So, my dear, if you are by yourself, you imagine someone from your family to be with you, and you imagine the despair, standing in front of you. Then you find the right distance, so you do not feel too distressed. And you have your helper, whomever you want, as close to you as you need it. You lean into your helper if you want. And then you look at the despair, and you breathe deeply. And you ask for whatever helpers you would like to be there, and to help you both. You can see how the despair feels, and you begin to see it is not you… it is something that needs to be seen, to be loved, to be included…

And now I hand it over to you, unless you come here, and we can do it together. I am awaiting your report. Get yourself a diary, because it may become a journey that you like to write about. As soon as despair comes into you, you say: here I am, my friend, what can I do for you? And soon, you will be doing the journey together.

And as for your boyfriend, keep him in your heart, and give him room to do his journey, too. And of course, there is someone else who might be a great help.

With love, Geli                        

angelika.schenk@gmail.com    

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter February2012   

Dear old and new friends,

Risking that I might lose some of you, I still feel I have to obey my heart... Following on from the January newsletter, I looked up some of my notes of Rudolf Steiner’s work. Bert holds Steiner in highest regard. Right from the beginning, I sensed a close connection between these two great men. 
It seemed to me that Bert - apart from other threads of education for humanity,- had taken the staff from Steiner, now providing ways in which people can gain deeper understanding through personal experiences.

The following is what Steiner said, more than 100 years ago, condensed and paraphrased; and it seems to me, only now can this be grasped anywhere on this sweet earth.

So this is Rudolf Steiner speaking:
"At the beginning of humanity’s development there are laws; towards its maturity there will be peaceful and harmonious cooperation, from inside out. This is grace. Nothing else but feeling most deeply with another human being, in full peace, is the deepest concept of spirituality.

Individuals need to learn to see themselves as a part of larger all-encompassing processes. What they come to understand as right, needs to also permeate their feelings and their will. Only then does it become fertile for the world. This applies in particular to the communities of people.

Clearly understood ideas become spiritually powerful, when we warm to them together, and finally our will is also coming to life through this. Human beings can use their freedom to form free associations, where they let their feelings flow towards a shared centre. Through this they offer spiritual beings an opportunity to work in their midst. Then the insights that the individuals arrive at flow together into a new type of community creation, a new way of working together of spirit and man.

But if emancipated man closes off to this development into which his freedom can flow and have a good place, then what he sees as his freedom, may turn into his bondage, into a prison, and any connection to further development may be thwarted. All of our further fate depends on whether high beings can come down to us, attracted by communities that we formed out of our free will.

The sense of freedom is first experienced in our thinking, in a separation from the world. A conscious step is needed to let what we perceive inside stream forth consciously, to a centre that we share with others.

Only in this free social gesture towards others, joined around a common core, is community with the hierarchies re-established. These only wish to support humanity’s freedom, especially with a view to the formation of new future human communities.

…patience to wait not until we grasp the truths through ourselves, but for the truths to come to us…

Humanity is only free where it loves."

Bert Hellinger on

The creative perception   
When we speak of perception, 
we usually think and say, we have perceived something. This means, we have perceived something that exists.

What we perceive with our good perception is not yet in existence. 
It is a creative perception. 
It comes from a movement of the spirit. What does it mean, insight of the spirit? What does spirit cognise?  
It cognises something that is still to come, that does not exist as yet. 
When I perceive another person or thing or event well, I perceive what will become of this person/thing. 
This is a creative perception. 
It brings something about 
that is not yet in existence.  
This perception always comes from a movement of love, of love for something that it still in the process of becoming.   

Try it out!  It's love in action. 
Let us allow ourselves and others and things and conditions to transform. 
Let us be part of transformation.

 Courtesy of Heartmath


We enjoyed our last group at Gayatri. This time we did true group work. This takes a lot of discipline, sensitivity, composure, and focus. We felt we did well. It was a bit like theatre or shooting a movie. When we had to meta-communicate, we went into the "off-mode" so we were always clear whether someone was speaking from their role as representative or from their own personal perception. With high quality contributions we could work very thoroughly. There were many layers to peel off to find the underlying trauma of the people involved. The people who had requested the constellation gained deep understanding and felt great relief.

And here is a  text by Bert also relating to large scale changes:  Risen

Those who rise get ready to go. Those who rise, stand up to their full size. Only in this way do they meet others equal to equal, one person of equal standing before another.

Only risen, do we reach our hand out for a greeting, for an agreement, for shared action.

As we rise physically, we also rise spiritually. We think spiritually risen, we choose spiritually risen, we make decisions spiritually risen, and we  resist objections that block us from standing tall to our risen size. As well,  we honour the spiritual size of those who rose before us, who rose to think, say, and assert  daring thoughts. 

We rise up against those who want to patronize us, as if they had risen higher, as if we should bend down before them, or even be on the ground. We stand in front of them, eye to eye, and we wait if they can bear the gaze of risen people, or if they suddenly rise differently, even above themselves.

We speak of an uprising when suppressed people rise up against those wanting to keep them down. In this sense, the Occident also has a spiritual uprising, the enlightenment. It is still in full swing, nowhere near completion.

For there are new forces that have taken the place of the old ones, of those who deemed themselves risen higher, so that others had to look up to them and to submit to their point of view. They created a shield of fear and confusion with promises they were neither willing nor able to honour.

Before these  we rise up, without being against them. When many rise, independently, as individuals, the shedding of light in many fields expands and gains further ground. Any kind of enlightening education takes courage. Only when we really rise, when we stand as those who have risen, willing to defy others, can enlightenment assert itself, asserting itself in a way that is serving life in the full sense of the word.

How does this uprising succeed? It must be in unison with a   creative power that transcends both us and others, a power before which smaller forces, those who believe they can put themselves above this creative power, fail.

When does this uprising succeed? At the height of the strength of those smaller forces, and when we have also risen courageously, trusting in the all-embracing creative power.

This uprising is the rising of  love, with love, with a brave love, risen and at one with these other powers.

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter January 2012  

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat: mid month group Sunday 15thJan, 
 

At the Sunshine Coast:
 no group in January

To subscribe to  this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location: For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Bert on unison with the movements of the spirit 

In unison with the movements of the spirit we let go. For where could or should we move on our own accord?
We let go in recollection, remaining utterly alert. Like a feather picked up by the wind, we land wherever the wind takes us. But not alone, rather together with everything that moves, at once. These movements differ much from the movements of our clear conscience and the fear that any deviation from its dictates might jeopardize our support and our right of belonging to it. In contrast to this, in the movements of the spirit we are part of the whole, we are carried along, different in each moment, simply there as well.
How do we experience this  being taken along by a movement of the spirit in this way?
We feel free from concerns and yet, at the right time we are suddenly taken up by an insight and carried towards actions that bring some healing, to our surprise.
The question is: What about our freedom? Does it still exist? If yes,how?   

Dear old and new friends,

I hope the beginning of the new year fills us all with renewed enthusiasm, with inspiration, and also with a longing for something more in our life, for more of the bigger picture in our life, for a place of loving co-creation, and even real successes in this!

A new wave of power to the people, or should we say, power to the heart! Imagine we all live in one big heart! 

I am looking forward to explore issues with you that concern us all. Let us be creative together! We can express any issue in a constellation, and we have been amazed often enough at what was shown to us.

So please have some dreams before we meet, and we will put them into the circle and let them unfold.

The person that inspired me most in the last year was Polly Higgins, the lovely, smart, inventive, immensely committed Scotswoman. And her work has just begun. A good theme for constellations, too.

Also, the large group around conscious evolution has gathered momentum, and it gives us  a good concept

I really  feel like doing some constellations on large scale issues, in the sense of a dose of homeopathy, and to give us food for heartfelt pondering, perhaps even followed by action. 

Are we not supposed to enter a new era?

Do we want to be well equipped for it?

Shall we explore? 

Well, in any case, a happy new year once more! 

sorry program went crazy
 

 

 

Gayatri outdoor shower pool

 

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family  
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including a pre- consultation on the phone

Please also bring
food to share 

I'll continue with part 5 of Bert's ongoing exploration of the human soul, and his contribution towards becoming more connected to spirit or whatever you may want to call the greater whole, whatever this may mean: What brings us into conscious resonance with the movements of the spirit, what helps us to live life guided and taken along by the movements of the spirit? 

The beginning was about healing the past, a better present time was included, and now we also go for the future,

By now, there is such a wide range of methods that we can explore in so many different ways. Some guidelines always apply. We proceed with love, respect, and sensitivity, and we let the field guide us.

If you have any questions, you can contact me 
                                 
angelika.schenk@gmail.com                                                 

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter December 2011  

Dear old and new friends
I'll continue with part 4 of Bert's ongoing exploration of the question: What heals the human soul, and what brings peace?  
(Check the archives for the earlier sections.)

The deepest and most powerful movements in constellations are the wordless ones. Here the representatives must follow nothing but their inner guidance, usually in sensitive, slow motion. But sometimes something can erupt out of the blue.

Around the turn of the millennium Bert began to explore issues beyond families. He began to do constellations for groups involved in large scale conflict, looking at perpetrator - victim situations. It became clear that it was essential for the two sides to look at each other. Usually the perpetrators did not want to look at the victims. But once they did, they often softened and cried. Once the victims felt the pain of the perpetrators, they softened and often reached out to them. Where they ended up lying next to each other, both sides were at peace, with their eyes closed, and something was accomplished, leaving the living free for their lives the way they are now.

After a while Bert explored what happened between two warring parties. One of the early constellations was about Pinochet’s coup in 1973 in Chile, which, by the way, happened on September 11th . So Bert got  representatives on the stage, for those loyal to Allende, the then newly elected leader of the country, and for those who sided with Pinochet and the CIA.

It was a very painful constellation. People from the same country fighting each other tears up the fabric of nation, as is the case when it happens in a family. The amazing thing was: Painful as the constellations was, with intense frustration and even aggression, in the end nearly all had come together again and found peace in death. For them, this utterly painful conflict was over.

This was the beginning of the movements of the soul, as Bert first called this approach. The representatives were only moved by an inner impulse that Bert called the Great Soul. Later he called these constellations movements of the spirit, and reserved the term soul for the field that holds a group of fate together, like a family or religion or country.

So in this constellation there was no talking, no communication other than the one that happened between the representatives. The essential prerequisite for this way of working is that all participants are fully recollected, simply in the service of peace, just there, without wishes or fears. This goes for the constellation practitioner above all, but also for the representatives and the audience. When the whole group is recollected, much deeper movements come to the surface and take over. Bert found out that these movements of the spirit always lead to peace. 

Peace is the base from which we can have a new beginning.

I was one of the practitioners who were awed by this. When Hungarian organizers asked Bert for a country constellation in 2006, I made sure I was there, too. I was so fortunate to be given the role of Hungary. To this day this remains my deepest constellation experience. Rudolph Steiner spoke of the soul of nations, and like any soul, it can be deeply traumatized, and it can also heal, and become open to be transformed.  

Bert on 'No'

Who do we think we are, when we say 'no'? 'No' to whose face?

We say no to our fate, and to the powers who decide over our fate, and often we do not consider that  what we expect and want may be different from what they want for us. What do these powers of fate say to us? What do they say to our attempt to escape the fate they decreed for us?

To all our attempts to change our fate around, they say no. How? By letting us fail in all our attempts to fend off what they have decided. With their no they assert their yes. They assert it in every regard. How? Powerfully, and yet with love.

What follows for us? When, after  our unsuccessful no to our fate, we change and agree to it, when we say yes to it, then our yes is extended by another yes, a yes that lovingly suspended our no. 
What is the result? A new confidence: even in the darkest night it already sees the coming light.

Which light? The light of our fullness.

Gayatri 'Boomerang' 

Our November group at Doonan left us deeply touched

We could easily have had another horse constellation. We did not, perhaps it caused us too much pain at the moment. Again, two horses took the survivors of their human family into safety, putting all the strength they had left, to their last drop, into drawing the cart for them.

In human terms, we had one particularly heart- warming constellation. We could call it a modern fairy tale of great love, broken and mended again. An outline for a novel or movie. 

Another constellation revealed the causes of a complex physical and emotional symptom, called 'fear in front of me, guilt behind me'.

Both these constellations extended over more than one life.

Another one was called: "Where is my belonging?" Again and again we see, there is no symptom without a real cause, no matter how bizarre a symptom may appear.

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter November  2011      

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat
this first Sunday in
November  
 
at the
Sunshine Coast

Sun.20st
Nov 

Details in the left column below the text

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
(Please enter your name and e-mail  in the 
body of your e-mail and add ‘constellations'.)

Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends
Here is the third phase of how Bert's constellation work unfolded. 
The first part of this you'll find in the September issue.
After just placing people and moving them to different places and finding out if they felt better or worse there, Bert let the clients place representatives for their family members in the circle. This was done without any intention, just from the immediate feeling. Once this was done, the representatives reported how they felt. Now the amazing thing was that the clients confirmed what the representatives reported. So the conclusion was that the representatives were in some kind of direct resonance with the actual
family members.

It also appeared to work the other way, so that the actual family members, even though they were not present in the workshop, somehow received something back from the representatives.

As the representatives communicated their feelings to each other, they began to understand each other better and often found they had the same feelings that had resulted from the same trauma. Often children discovered that they were carrying the parents' unhealed feelings which caused rifts between them while they were not communicating about them. 
In due course children and parents could then stand together facing the same direction, able to leave something in the past and to turn to the present with their love for those who cam before them restored .

Evidence of this soon followed. Two examples from my own experience were: One woman who had had no contact with her sisters for nearly 20 years had a message on her answering machine after returning home from the workshop from one of her sisters, saying that she missed her sister and wanted to come and see her. The feedback later in was that all three were reunited and could clear up many misunderstandings that had come from a traumatic childhood where they were separated from their mother.

In another situation a woman had had not contact with here mother for ten years. On returning from the workshop, her mother had left a message on her answering machine telling her daughter that she loved her. Not long after that, the woman brought her mother out to join us.

This kind of constellation work was and is suited for specific healing of immediate family matters. But Bert does not stand still for long, and so a next phase will follow in the next newsletter.  

Bert on opposites

Wanting to get a grasp of an object, we take it into our hands, between our thumb and fingers, and so we grasp what is in between them, even though it is so completely different. 

Sometimes we experience the same with words and their meaning.

Therefore, in important matters, we often have to have several views about them at the same time. 

For fullness includes contradictions, and even the opposite of something is then only perceived as another aspect, an important one, 
that completes our understanding, rather than competing with what we have already perceived and discovered.

Gayatri Hall 

Our October group at Doonan about horses left us amazed

The depth of love, willingness to be of service, accepting any degree of sacrifice, including serving as food for humans in times of starvation, the variety of their responses and feelings, the depth to which the horses seemed to communicate with us, about all of this left us in awe. 

The first horse expressed his great love to his owner, and how he had missed being called all these years. There were many clues that indicated he survived the war and became a wild horse. The reunion was very touching.

The other horse that lived deep in Russia was only little, but so proud and happy to help people, to have an important job to do; this horse also expressed its love to its 'parents'.

Another group of horses were somehow accepting of their fate, and glad that some of them survived, and glad to communicate.

Well I only say a little bit about it, because our feelings are still raw, but we learned a lot about horses, and now we have an idea how one can become a horse-whisperer. 

Another constellation turned into what we would consider a fairytale. We could hardly believe it. But only a merging of animal and human, in the mind and soul of an ancestor, generations back, brought relief to the people in the present situation.

Introductory offer to attend
workshops
Bookings are essential. 
Please
email me if you 
would like to attend.

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60   for a family 
 
$  80   for your  own   constellation, 
including
a pre- consultation
          on the phone


Please also bring
food to share 

____________________
A new offer:
We are now also doing workshops at
123 Beddington Rd,
Doonan,
Sunshine Coast.

Dates set are around mid month, always Sundays, next one is 20th November. 

Directions: Coming from the Eumundi- Noosa  Rd. the venue is to your right on
Beddington Rd. Coming down Wust Road, turn right into Beddington road. There is a sign saying Yoga central, and  a narrow,  purple sail at the entrance. Leaving the  owners'  home to your left, use the boardwalk to go to  the yoga hall behind their house.
If any possible, arrive well before 10am for a cuppa so you feel at home eve before we start. 
If you arrive later, please come in quietly, take a seat, and just join in. 

______________

Read more :
on the next page

Where and when can I 
attend a workshop?

Where can constellations help?.

What causes problems in relationships

What kind of events leave 

their marks on later generations?

What is a constellation 
retreat at Gayatri  like?

 Inner exercises

Somebody asked about ghosts, and how they differed from ancestors.

One simple way of describing the difference could be: Ghosts are often seen as frightening. Especially where something terrible happened, the living may  feel a presence, but be unsettled by it. These ghosts are themselves not at peace. they are looking to the living for support. And they do not always ask, but rather invade our space.

Ghosts are fragments of the dead, the part that is perhaps still unhealed and often willing to let us know something. Ancestors are real people, though on the other side that we cannot only know about, but communicate with directly and feel directly loved by.

What Bert showed us is the difference between a vague sense, or talking about some vague entity, and direct relationship.

So what might present as a ghost, can easily turn into an ancestor, once we begin to communicate with them. communication is a two way process. That means we address them, and we address them with respect and kindness, and if we are frightened or uncertain, also with that honesty. And we also wait for a reply.

Such process of communication is sometimes  achieved quickly, but it can also take week of patient and gentle perseverance where the so called ghosts still feel they may not be wanted or accepted by the living. The process will flow when the dead feel our goodwill and an attitude of no judgment.

Individuation, as Bert showed us, is rather different to what other psychologies tell us. Through constellations we get to experience the growth that can be called individuation when we take all of our ancestors into our heart, and all those who had dealings with our ancestors, especially all the excluded people. Individuation then means becoming more whole, more inclusive, more at peace with all the roles different  people have to fill with life. We can embrace all of it,
perhaps even acknowledging that we played certain roles in the past that we do not like to acknowledge. 

Behind what we may call patterning or character or neurosis or even psychosis, lie real events that have shaped our ancestors and us. Real events of a traumatic nature leave us with strategies of coping, and even later generations will repeat these strategies, even though they may in fact not be helpful. Prejudices for instance are of this nature. Originally something happened where members of one group harmed members of another, so perhaps all the offspring learn to avoid members of the group that harmed them, and in the end the original cause may not be known to the descendents, but the feelings are still there. So even from these feelings we can reconstruct the painful events, and then and there reconciliation can be encouraged. Once that is successfully completed, the feelings can dissolve, and a new beginning can be made.

From Bert we learn that feelings, behaviours, symptoms of all kinds have their origin in real interactions of a painful nature, between real people.

One of the problems with individual  therapies is that the problem a person has may not be that person’s problem but something the person carries, without understanding what it is all about. So no amount of individual  therapy will arrive at the cause where it can be healed and therefore laid to rest.

Of course there are many useful practices for individuals, such as various meditations. We can tell by their effect on the individuals how helpful they are.  

When we lost someone we loved very much, grieving is one aspect of dealing with it that is necessary, but another aspect is that we claim our love and connection with this person beyond death, for in the end we come to see that love cannot get lost, only buried. Constellations help unbury love, so that we get to feel in a very real way that at the depth, the dead are still in loving connection with us.

At least, this is my experience, and that of most people who have participated in a number of constellations, and this sense of connection is still growing in scope and depth. Constellations do not give us fixed ideas or concepts, but they give us our own meaningful experiences of love far beyond our earthly round.

     

               If you have questions, you can contact me 
   
angelika.schenk@gmail.com                                                 

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter October2011 

For introduction and  earlier issues:
 
Newsletter archives
Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat
this first Sunday in
October  
  Workshops 
at the
Sunshine Coast

Sun.16thst Oct
 

Details in the left column below the text

To subscribe to this newsletter 
and to book a constellation

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com
(Please enter your name and e-mail  in the 
body of your e-mail and add ‘constellations'.)

Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends
Here is the next phase of how Bert's constellation work unfolded. 
The first part of this you'll find in the September issue.
After just placing people and moving them to different places and finding out if they felt better or worse there, Bert let the clients place representatives in the circle, for their family members and themselves. This was done without any intention, just from the immediate feeling. Once this was done, the representatives reported how they felt. Now the amazing thing was that the clients confirmed what the representatives reported. So the conclusion was that the representatives were in some kind of direct resonance with the actual
family members.

It also appeared to work the other way, so that the actual family members, even though they were not present in the workshop, somehow received something back from the representatives.

As the representatives communicated their feelings to each other, they began to understand each other better and often found they had the same feelings that had resulted from the same trauma. Often children discovered that they were carrying the parents' unhealed feelings which caused rifts between them while they were not communicating about them. 
In due course children and parents could then stand together facing the same direction, able to leave something in the past and to turn to the present with their love for those who came before them restored .

Evidence of this soon followed. Two examples from my own experience were: One woman who had had no contact with her sisters for nearly 20 years had a message on her answering machine after returning home from the workshop from one of her sisters, saying that she missed her sister and wanted to come and see her. The feedback later in was that all three were reunited and could clear up many misunderstandings that had come from a traumatic childhood where they were separated from their mother.

In another situation a woman had had not contact with here mother for ten years. On returning from the workshop, her mother had left a message on her answering machine telling her daughter that she loved her. Not long after that, the woman brought her mother out to join us.

This kind of constellation work was and is suited for specific healing of immediate family matters. But Bert does not stand still for long, and so a next phase will follow in the next newsletter.

 A poem of Bert's on
  Order and abundance
 

Order is the way in which
the many different things can interact.
It is home to fullness and diversity.
It is living in exchange, unifies what is dispersed
and gathers it as fate decrees.
Therefore it’s home to movement.
It shapes the transient in a form
that gives hope for continuity.
Therefore it’s home to permanence.
 
Still as a tree before it falls,
Will it shed the fruit that is its future,
So order keeps in tune with time.
Therefore it’s home to change and to renewal.
Orders that are living will resonate with life as they unfold.
They drive us on and force their discipline on us through longing and through fear.
In setting boundaries, they give us space.
The space in which they live contains all sides of our separations.  

Gayatri retreat dining room

For our October group at Doonan we have two bookings for animal constellations. We had a constellation about a family that had to flee their homeland in the war, having to leave practically everything behind. 60 years later the older relatives who experienced  this still felt terrible about not having been able to take the foal  with them.  In that part of the world life would not have worked without their horses, so the horses were indeed family members, who  all had human first names. We will go back and meet two horses that live on in the souls of people with so much sadness because they suffered the fate that war so often brings. A group member suddenly saw a connection with people who cannot even leave  their pet in the care of someone else for a while. 
We feel this may have to do with some trauma of big loss that subconsciously they may want to prevent from happening  again.

Introductory offer to attend
workshops
Bookings are essential. 
Please
email me if you 
would like to attend.

angelika.schenk
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60  for a family  

          Contribution for your
          own constellation: 

$  80
  including
a pre-
          consultation
          on the phone
Please also bring
food to share 

____________________
A new offer:
We are now also doing workshops at
123 Beddington Rd,
Doonan,
Sunshine Coast.

Dates set are mid month, 
always Sundays, next one is 16th October. 

Directions: Coming from the Eumundi- Noosa  Rd. the venue is to your right on
Beddington Rd. Coming down Wust Road, turn right into Beddington road. There is a sign saying Yoga central, and  a narrow,  purple sail at the entrance. Leaving the  owners'  home to your left, use the boardwalk to go to  the yoga hall behind their house.
If any possible, arrive well before 10am for a cuppa so you feel at home eve before we start. 
If you arrive later, please come in quietly, take a seat, and just join in. 

______________

Read more :
on the next page

Where and when can I 
attend a workshop?

Where can constellations help?.

What causes problems in relationships

What kind of events leave 

their marks on later generations?

What is a constellation 
retreat at Gayatri  like?

 Inner exercises

      One can also do constellations for countries and   all kinds of groups. 
I find those constellations very valuable, but one should have a good size group for them.
They show that human groups have something like a soul as well, and so do different places on the earth. Also thought-forms that have been fed by many people over  some time develop a field of their own. In Australia one could do such  constellations for instance about different groups of the population. Sometimes such constellations can really bring something to light that could further peace and cooperation and understanding.

               If you have questions, you can contact me 
   
angelika.schenk@gmail.com                                                 

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm 

                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter September2011 

Dear old and new friends

Have you ever wondered about the name "family-constellations"? Well, it began as a family therapy, with placing family members in the circle to see how they stood in relation to each other. At the time, Bert was giving himself an all round training, through an overview of the new therapeutic modalities. This one impressed him when he noticed that as a representative he felt feelings he had never experienced. That therapist did not allow the representatives to move, and yet the capacity of the representatives was already there.

Some time later Bert began to experiment with this. The client would place the family members according to an inner image.

Then Bert would ask how they are feeling where they were standing. At some stage he would move them elsewhere, with a concept in mind which he was testing. He found out what he then called "The orders of love" , kind of a Confucian model. It says that family members feel best when they are in the right place, instead of trying to be someone in the family that they are not. For instance when a mother lost her mother and /or was traumatized by her, it is not uncommon that the mother treats her daughter as if the daughter was the mother. So if she lost her mother, she might be very needy and clingy towards the daughter. Or if a mother felt her mother treated her badly, she might express a lot of anger and frustration against her daughter.

Another example is, say the mother had a partner before, whom she loved a lot. Now she has a son to her second partner. The son does not know about this first partner, so he does not have a place as a part of the family. But this son will be in a rival position with his father, and try to take his place. So then it is necessary to place the mother's first love as well.  When the son is introduced to his mother's first love, he does not need to take that man's place, and not the one of his father either. Now the son fully realizes that he is only the son, and his father is his only  father. Now the son can take up his place in his sibling's  line according to age. It would be the first son in nearly all cases.

In the next edition I will tell you how Bert's work developed further. 

A poem of Bert's

The players
They introduce themselves 
as opponents.
Then they sit opposite each other
and play on the same board, 
with many different pieces,
following complicated rules,
move by move,
the same royal game.
Both sacrifice a range of
pieces 
in their game
and keep each other in check
with great suspense,
until all movement ends.
When there is nowhere left 
to move
the game is over.
Then they change sides
and color,
And they begin a new round
Of the same game.
Those who play for a long time,
And often win
And often loose,
They becomes masters
On both sides.

Something about our partner relationships

When we look at our partner relationships, are we among the lucky ones who can live love, harmony and creativity and growth with their partner? For the rest of us, what expectations do we have? Often we feel we need our partner to change, before happiness becomes possible. And we often believe that our love for our partner can turn him or her into the person we want them to be. We might even believe that the way we want them to be is a better version of them. We think our love is the powerful motor of achieving happiness. 
And if our partner does not change, we question their love for us.

Well, sometimes, but many times not so. In our attempts to get it right with our partner we might also do whatever s/he wants, even where it is unreasonable and will not benefit our shared life. Eventually, all too often, the frustration that has been kept at bay breaks lose, and considerable hostility is unleashed, 

So what happened? We ignored, often at great pains and for a long time, a factor called fate. Fate is greater than our little human love for each other. For a long time we have done our best to see in our partner what we wanted her/him to be. Eventually our blind hope that ignores reality is crushed.  
In many cases constellations can help to heal the rift and allow partners to come together again in a new way.

But equally, many relationships cannot come good, simply because the power of fate, at least behind one of the partners, is so strong that for the time being, nothing can be done by anyone involved. The freedom to be different is simply not there at that time. The end will come in all the more devastating ways if we close our eyes to what cannot be reconciled - not forever, but in the foreseeable future, which means this present life at least

Here, constellations can bring the needed reality check. The partner who comes can see before their very eyes what is going on. The representatives usually don't know anything about the person the represent. in a constellation we bring in the partners and both their parents. And we just watch what goes on between them. We see what is, not what we want to see. Where reconciling and a good future together are simply not possible, seeing what is gives us the strength to walk through the pain of separation. 

Once the sharpest pain has settled down somewhat, a good way to separate can be to remember the 'being in love' that was, and the love that still exists underneath the turmoil, and seeing the children as the living proof of it. And also to trust that in due time something in ourselves and in our partner will heal. But in the meantime we let the other go with love, knowing it is not in our partner's nor in our own hands to change fate when and as we want it.

To the degree that we can still allow ourselves to love our former partner, from the required distance, a dimension opens up where we see that a "failed" relationship may have given us something that really makes us grow. It remains as something in our life that we can refer to, now that our naivety is no longer there, and we can see the relationship the way it was, as a gift of love, for us to learn and grow up. And on some inner level our former partner may even appear to us, and suddenly we feel a warmth. 

As if, like in Bert's poem in the  column to the right, someone who does love us deep down, was the one destined to provide us with a painful lesson we would not otherwise have agreed to. We get to experience something that only reveals its gifts later.

 

 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter August 2011    

Dear old and new friends,

Springtime is on its way in the Southern Hemisphere. Here in Queensland the trees are trusting there will be enough sunshine to push out their flowers. Most of them skipped a season of flowers and fruit, and instead grew at an unprecedented speed. Now Queensland's nature seems to come back into some balance. The land seems to be smiling with the change, and certainly us land-dwellers do.
So, happy early spring time to you all. May new inspiration blossom in all of us and bear fruit in due time.

We can also focus on springtime and recovered love in a wide range of our relationships.

Improvements in our relationships can usually be achieved when we can move from rejection towards acceptance, from exclusion to inclusion. Often it is easier to understand this as a beneficial principle than to apply it. Then in trying we might end up in a knot with ourselves, in that case, we go one step back. Something that we know it would be good for others, we need to give to ourselves first, or else someone inside might start screaming: What about me, why should I always have to be the martyr?

Doing something against our own important needs is not useful in the long run. So we better sit down with ourselves and ask : 
“ What is it your need here? What is overlooked?“ Give yourself compassion first. Try it out, apply acceptance and inclusion of every aspect of yourself to yourself. Take time to listen to yourself, like you would to a beloved child. You might be very pleasantly surprised about the result. 
For example, you might not want to forgive someone because you feel you have to remember what the person did, so that you do not receive the same treatment again that hurt you so much. So behind your "Not wanting to forgive, let alone forget," could be a need of yours that you had not fully looked at, a fear that you end up rejected even more, if you do not protect yourself. So a big conflict in yourself can be resolved. Now you can find other, more helpful strategies to look after yourself and stick up for yourself where it is important.

If you are on your own with such a feeling, apply acceptance to yourself. At any moment accept yourself as you are, love yourself as you are, be generous with yourself. Avoid inner arguments. Be your best friend. What we cannot give to yourself, we cannot really give to another, at least not without paying the price of feeling bad. And you will find, the more you accept yourself, from a deep appreciation, the more mellow you will become, because you have the most important person on your side, supporting you: Yourself!

Where we can't move further with such an issue, taking it to a constellation can help to shed much more light on it, so we understand the other person in a way where we don't need to feel like the underdog. For the trouble is, we bring our unresolved trauma into all kinds of relationships. Old pain comes up in us and lands where it does not belong. Projections of all kinds can set in.

The workshop in Hong Kong was a rich experience. 
I really like being amongst Chinese people. I find them very friendly and helpful, and I admire how they combine strength and assertion with love and consideration. 

It was a training course for beginners, so Bert raised many important topics. 
Inclusion and accepting what is, and even agreeing to it, are always at the core of the resolution. 

In constellations this often happen so naturally, organically, because belonging and togetherness are our essential needs, even if we often try to cover up, out of a feeling of vulnerability.

But in our family there are often excluded people that we do not know about consciously. Then we may not have a way of knowing  what causes our distress either. 

Constellations can bring these exclusions to light, and people that were estranged from each other can come back together, to everyone's relief.

Community house at Gayatri

 

 

 

 

Introductory offer to attend
workshops

Bookings are essential. 
Please
email me if you 
would like to attend.


angelika.schenk
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60  for a family  

Contribution for your
own constellation: 

$  80
  including
a pre-
          consultation
          on the phone
Please also bring
food to share,
and at
____________________
A new offer:
We are now also doing workshops at 123 Beddington Rd,
Sunshine Coast.

Dates set are mid month, 
always Sundays, so far : 
21st Aug,  18thSept,
16th October, 

 


Here is a text by Bert Hellinger himself, from his book: "Laws of Healing"

Our ties

Which of the movements in our soul is the decisive one when it comes to the development of illnesses? It is the love of attachment that ties us to our family and to its fate.

This fated love is very deeply rooted in us. We are at its mercy. It binds us to our family and to everything that happened in and around it.

It ties us to the bigger picture as it was experienced in our family, to our family’s achievements, and accomplishments. Thus it becomes a motivating strength.

At the same time it also ties us to what was left incomplete and to what weighs heavily on our family, to its burdens and its guilt. We are drawn into taking responsibility for these matters, even where we don’t know anything about it, and had no part in it either. Still, we also have to carry it.

How do these fated ties come about? Which powers are at work behind it?

It is our most elementary need to belong to our family. This bond is our deepest longing. The need to belong is far deeper than even our need and wish to survive. This means, out of our need to belong, we are willing to offer up our life as a sacrifice.

Looking at the far reaching consequences of this need, we understand our willingness to make sacrifices. This need to belong makes us willing to become ill or disabled in the place of others in our family, or even willing to perish under strange circumstances, and ultimately, taking our own life.

Can you still follow? Or do you find, what I am saying here frightening?

I am only saying it here, because there are ways to turn these fates around. With their help, we can find the strength to move to a higher plane, to discover the ties that make us ill, and to free us and our family from their fetters, so that the love in our family can flow for the good of all."

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter July2011    

For introduction and earlier
 issues
Newsletter archives

Next workshop
at
Gayatri-Retreat
First Sunday in August

New offer: Workshops at the Sunshine Coast,    next date: 17th July Details in the left column below

To subscribe to this newsletter and to book in
peaceconstellations
@gmail.com
(Please enter your name and e-mail  in the 
body of your e-mail and add ‘constellations'.)

Gayatri-Retreat
1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location:
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org
/
map.html

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends: Do you happen to know people you don't like?
Well perhaps you say, it's behaviours and attitudes of theirs. Do you feel you have good reason for it? Many of us do, in degrees. Some of these dislikes we might perceive as prejudices. Perhaps we learnt them from our parents. We might even feel that way we fit in well with our family, for instance concerning certain beliefs. Then there might be dislikes that affect us to a point we become uncomfortable. We can lose the plot over it, anger starts pouring out. We are perplexed about the intensity. 

Well wherever our dislikes begin to trouble us, there are many helpful techniques available to us, such as meditation.

Family constellations help in a special way because they shed light on the deeper causes. When they are healed, meditation and other techniques work more efficiently because an ongoing source of distress has been cleared. This source might even pour out love now. 

If the dislike is within families, constellations work very well to unravel the causes. Different family members may have taken on different aspects of a big trauma, even perpetrator and victim roles, as if apart from being a family, they also subconsciously reenact an old drama, or even more than one. Because they are not aware of this, the different levels get mixed up, and accusations fly back and forth. So peace is often not stable, understanding cannot be found, and the underlying love cannot get the upper hand.

Gently, step by step the knots of confusion are unravelled, and the beauty is: Love is always there, and it comes to the surface when freed, to take the lead once more.

On 6th July I will be off to Hong Kong for a 6 day workshop with Bert, and I will report on it in the next newsletter

The boomerang, also called the wings, guest rooms at Gayatri

Introductory offer to attend
workshops

Bookings are essential. Please email me if you 
would like to attend.


peaceconstellations
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60  for a family  

Contribution for your
own constellation: 

$  80
  including
a pre-
          consultation
          on the phone

Please also bring food to share.
____________________
A new offer:
We are now also doing workshops at 123 Beddington Rd,
Sunshine Coast.

Dates set are mid month, 
always Sundays, so far : 
17th July,   late Sept, 16th October, 

Directions: Coming from the Eumundi- Noosa  Rd. the venue is to your right. It has is a narrow, upright, blue + red striped sail-like flag at the entrance. Leave the  owner's home to your right, behind it is the yoga hall.

Are you ready to take a deeper look at abortions?
So many of us have had abortions. Have we dealt with it fully? 
Have we felt the pain, the regret? Did we give these children a permanent place in our heart?

I was once a representative of a child. As this child I could not stand my mother. I did not want her. but I did not know why. Then more children of the mother were added. I nudged close to the sibling next to me, put my arm around her with protective feelings and was more angry with our mother. Then I heard the client who was now pointing at me, say: " I don't know about this child. I wanted this child." Yes, she might have wanted me, but the child next to me she had aborted. And she felt no regret for her action whatsoever and did not look at the three children she had aborted. The two children she gave birth to did not know about her abortions.

So, this would be one good reason to heal the pain around abortions.

What made it easier for women to feel their own repressed feelings, is bringing to our attention the deeper dimensions of abortions that we are not aware of. This does loosen the pain, and helps our hearts to open again, to include all the children that were in our womb as our children.

Here is an example of this deeper dimension.

A woman came without a clear issue. But she knew she wanted to do a constellation. she mentioned this and that, and finally she said, she also had an abortion.

I asked her what had happened in her family that she found painful. She said her sister had died.

The representatives did not know anything about the client's   issue.

I began the constellation with the client, her mother, and the dead sister. I put the dead sister in the middle, then asked the two other representatives to find their place. The mother stood away from her  dead daughter on one side, but looking in her direction. The client stood on the other side, also at a distance. The client and her mother had no contact. Then I brought the aborted child in. The client felt certain it was a boy. I asked the child’s representative to find his place. He stood next to his mother and smiled at her. The mother’s representative said: “It is not that this child is unwanted. It’s just I don’t know what else to do.” Then mother and child smiled at each other und hugged. Then the boy went to his dead aunt and lay down by her side. She smiled and took him into her arms. At that, both the client and her mother looked at each other, went to the dead sister and the child, sat down side by side at the heads of the dead, and took their heads on their laps. They cried and stroked them both.

I asked the client if she remembered the day she had the abortion. She said yes. It was the second anniversary of her sister’s death.

 

Angelika's  Family Constellation Newsletter May/June 2011   

Dear old and new friends:  How is your relationship with your mother? 

Do you think of her fondly? Do you like each other?  Do you feel comfortable around her?
Or do you perhaps feel not sufficiently loved? Or even rejected? Do you perhaps feel sometimes that you have to be the big one, being there for your mother, not as a daughter, but as her mother?
There are many other ways in which we might feel uncomfortable with our mother,
even though deep down nearly all of us want a close and harmonious relationship with our mother.

Sometimes the reasons for this are fairly clear. In that case, healing can bring a change for the better.
In a constellation this can happen very naturally, without any moral admonitions, like: "You should forgive."
So- called 'forgiveness' happens naturally  and more importantly, deeply enough, without residues, where the heart opens in understanding.

Where we don't know the reasons, or incorrectly assume to know, constellations can reveal the real causes, the deeper reasons, why our relationship with our mother may be complicated and even painful.
Below  is a  reply of mine to feedback after a constellation about a difficult mother- daughter relationship. I have happy permission to publish it.

Introductory offer to attend
workshops

Bookings are essential. Please email me if you 
would like to attend.


peaceconstellations
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each, for you and
           a friend or relative
$  60  for a family  

Contribution for your
own constellation: 

$  80
  including
a pre-
          consultation
          on the phone

____________________
A new offer:
We are now also doing workshops at 123 Beddington Rd,  on the Sunshine Coast.

Dear Suzi,
thank you so much for trusting me.
I am glad that you and your mother now reach out to each other. Doing it step by step is good, because you consolidate the path of overcoming the distance and add trust, bit by bit. 

As you could see, your mother also had a disruption in the relationship with her mother.

This spills over to one's children also. Often a mother can overcome her inner rift with her mother more easily with her grandchildren. So, your grandmother might also find it easier to reach out to you.
She can show her love to her daughter via her love for a grandchild.

I  felt your resistance, and yet your call for mother's love was strong and clear, barely below  the surface. I was aware that there was something quite old in your mother's line, aggravated through more trauma, that affects you both.
So in constellations we learn not to take things as they appear, but as what they are really saying underneath.

Bert has found out that generally the relationship to a partner thrives on a loving and trusting relationship to our family of origin, but above all, to our mother.
What does not work (yet) with our mother, does not have the best chances of working (yet) with a partner, because our deepest imprints, for better and for worse, come through our mother.
If we feel we missed out on love, we might (without being aware of that) even leave a partner to spite our mother (can also be our father) as in triumph:
"I don't need you!" ,"I'll show you!"

This can then also be the reason why people are sometimes more successful in a second relationship.
In the first one they leave their mother behind, and with her, their pain, at least so they think.
The second partner can then be seen as the real partner. Often only for a while, though.


Thank God, when Bert sees a problem, he is also given the answer.
The relationship to our mother can always be healed, even if she is not alive any more.

Wherever our mother could not give us full mother love, she could not get it herself.
So the first step is for our mother to get this love.
Sometimes this means going back a few generations.

In a constellation course in China a woman could not go to her mother at all, and her mother made no inviting gestures. We had to go back 18 generations before we  found an unbroken mother-daughter relationship. From there it healed  all the way to the present, and the woman whose constellation it was melted into the arms of her mother.
After that, our chances of melting into our partner's arms are much better.

One more obstacle: Your partner might have a similar  problem. Because in men the mother is also the number one relationship. Biology cannot be changed, it's in our mother where we experienced blissful security in the beginning, and then the anticipation of being born, and our birth.
And then perhaps a separation from our mother after birth. Another trauma that can be healed.
So to help a relationship it is great if both partners look at what is unhealed in their own background.

Comment to the reader: At the next constellation, Suzi's mother came along. 
This is not a rare occurrence, and always a happy one.  We have often ended up with many family members.

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter April/May 2011 

Today's topics: 1. Our ancestors  2. Mental illness

Dear old and new friends:  Who do you think you are? 

Well, a lot of of people have become familiar with this question. But knowing who we are through our ancestral line is not just for celebrities or TV-shows, and it can happen even if we do not know much about them at all. 
Family-constellations are a powerful way to connect us to our ancestors with love and respect, to really bring them to life for us for a while. They present us with what is important for us to know about them. And we are amazed how many of their feelings are already familiar to us.

Our recent session took us deeply into history. Our newcomers just watched for one constellation, then they were ready to be representatives. 

One constellation took us back to 18th century  France, before a daughter and mother could deeply reunite and leave their pain behind.  

Another mother- daughter situation that was experienced as very distressing, could heal via a detour to an ancestor who died a sudden death at young age, leaving his wife and children so distraught that they could not grieve together and withdrew inside. A week  later, there was good feedback. Family members rang with whom the daughter had had no contact  for a long time, one even rang the minute she opened the door of her home after returning from our group. This is not an  uncommon occurrence. So, "just" a soul connection can go a long way and show effects quickly.

What can we gain from reconnecting with our ancestors?

One of the things I love so much about constellations is:
It  always brings healing to the extended family, even over several generations. The healing goes back and forth in all directions. One family member participates, and many breathe a deep sigh of relief.

 “Now I really feel that I am a member of the one earth family,” a participant said.  

 Having a real sense of  belonging to our family sets us free to be ourselves, to live our own potential. Once old painful clashes and separations are reconciled, we have  so many people behind us who enjoy our success in love and life with us and participate in it.  Even the dead seem to grow and move on. You can expect to have dreams where ancestors tell you things you did not know.   

If you have feelings, symptoms, behaviors you can't explain, or have patterns running in your own life that you have seen before in your family and you would like to understand, and see them  healing, Family Constellation work could be for you.

Healing comes about  through reconciliation. All kinds of symptoms can leave us when our sense of belonging is restored, when each one of our ancestors fully belongs again, and  we re-include someone who was perhaps excluded. For through our symptoms - which resonate with their pain - we subconsciously connected to some ancestor (s). Through shared healing, through love restored, we can have their blessings and live the gifts they had, instead of their pain. 
In a way, from hereon they walk beside us with a smile. 

 

Angelika's  Family Constellations Newsletter March 2011 


Back to 
Angelika's Constellations Newsletter

To subscribe to this newsletter
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(Please enter your name and e-mail address in the body of your e-mail and add ‘constellations'.)
What's  in the next issue ? 
Something on the importance of our ancestors, family trees, and answers to your questions.

 

 


Gayatri-Retreat

1033 Cedar Pocket Rd.
Gympie, QLD 4570 Australia 
Location
For details please visit www.friendsofgayatri.org

www.coming-together.com

www.family-constellations.org

Dear old and new friends, 

Welcome to my periodic newsletter about Family Constellations. 
This first one is to introduce myself and the process.

With degrees in teaching, psychology and sociology I have worked in different fields of social work and education for a long time. Since my late teens I have been studying, and applying in my work wherever I could, new and old alternative therapies and also the spiritual traditions of many different cultures. 
 

Then finally 10 years ago I  met Bert Hellinger, the father of family constellations. After the first workshop with him, in Sweden, and some personal contact, I knew I had found what and whom I had always been looking for. An intense training time began, and it is never ending. Ever since I have been conducting family-constellations workshops, in Australia and in other countries,

And to this day I am still amazed about the power of his path of deep healing, reconciling, and growing. 

And now I would like to extend my invitation to you with a special introductory offer: 
Come and join one of our workshops, any first Sunday of the month at  Gayatri- Retreat.

Introductory offer to attend
workshops

Bookings are essential. Please email me if you would like to attend.

peaceconstellations
@gmail.com

Contribution for participation:
$  30  for one person  
$  20  each,
for you
            and a friend 
      
      or relative      
$  60  for a family  

Contribution for your own constellation: 
$  80
  including
a pre-
          consultation
          on the phone

_________________
If you have questions, you can contact me at
peaceconstellations
@gmail.com
________________

Read more :
on the next page


Where and when can I attend a workshop?

Where can constellations help?.

What causes problems in relationships

What kind of events leave their marks on later generations?

What is a constellation retreat at Gayatri  like?

 Inner exercises

What is unique to family constellation work?

In this context, the word 'constellations' refers to the relationships in families.
Family constellation work offers healing of personal issues and long-standing generational trauma. 
Unhealed trauma in a family can live on in later generations, in the form of many symptoms, such as in illnesses, unhappiness, broken relationships, accidents, guilt, unhealthy patterns. 

This is a group process of great depth. People move in little steps, guided 
by their individual physical sensations - without any knowledge of the "client's" issue. 
And yet, the constellation unfolds purposefully. The result always leads to an inner reconciliation. When people are in their stillness, constellations work even without words or instructions. 

What can you expect from a constellation?

Just from sitting in the circle and witnessing a constellation, you will have a new experience of the depth of your family relationships. You may suddenly understand  deeper causes of distress, and you will also see the path to healing. 
In all likelihood you will gain a different perspective of the problems in relationships, and all this just from observing. Just as in ancient Greek theatres, your heart will truly become involved. 
When you choose to experience your own constellation, you can expect that important relationships with family members will be more at ease.

How does the process work?

This is as non-doing process, you just need to be present. All it takes is: 
- some willingness to set aside personal opinions and values, just for now
- a sincere request from the heart, and a little trust

 There are three levels of participation to choose from
-  witnessing someone else's constellation
-  participating as a representative for someone else.
-  experiencing your own constellation 

Why does the process work?

We human beings have the capacity to feel our own as well as other people's feelings, even at great depth and over great distances. Where this happens, there is also understanding and compassion. 

In our western culture this capacity has been pushed into the background. Family constellations help us recover this ability. 
Proceeding with love and sensitivity,  in a field of understanding, helps us discover much that can be healed and reconciled, at great depth. 

When relationships heal, our heart heals.  As our heart heals, it becomes lighter and richer, and our life becomes happier and more fulfilling. 


About Angelika  

Seeing the great benefits of Bert's work in others and in myself makes me continue with his work, inside and outside. Additionally I have been translating his books into English for some years, 10 of them are already published.
 
Twice a year I go along to his seminars in different countries. There are always new adventures of the spirit with him. His mind always moves on to more and new things. At 85, he is still busy writing and holding large seminars. So the journey goes on.

www.family-constellations.org/angelika's_constellations_newsletter.htm

Gayatri's location  www.friendsofgayatri.org/map.html

In recent years many people have become interested in their ancestors, especially in relatively young countries, like Australia

Here in the Newsletter Link you can read a chapter about the ancestors of people who migrated to Australia, and how their trauma can show up in their descendents. It also shows how constellations can help them to heal.  

People who left under very painful circumstances often do not tell their children anything, wanting to protect them. But this protection often comes at a price. These parents are still in pain, and the pain comes out in ways that the children often perceive as being directed against them. Then  they often turn away from their parents.
Example: A woman whose parents escaped Europe during WW2 was very angry with her father. He did a lot for her, but in his overwhelming pain he often spoke quite harshly. The daughter complained about him bitterly.
In the constellation she began to understand what her father and the whole family had been through, and in the end she  curled up in her father’s arms, and their love was flowing freely. She was certainly old enough to be told what her parents had to go through, and in a short time a  rebellious teenager matured into a beautiful understanding, caring, radiant  woman.

For more examples, go to Newsletter Link 

Here's a bit about Mental Illness and Family constellations.

I have researched mental illness since I was 23. I did not find anything in the western world that convinced me that the causes and the cure have been found.
Only when I met Bert ten years ago did this change. I read an article of his about mental illness which convinced me that this man found the causes and the solutions. Soon after this, in the first seminar with him I was the representative for three mentally ill women. this gave me deep insights too.

Last week I heard Margaret Throsby's talk with Jessica Rowe. Jessica spoke about her inability to become pregnant, and about her post natal depression. She had a special role to fill as the oldest sister of three, when at age 12 she saw her mother going into severe grief. Her mother was classed as manic depressive. 

I decided I will write to her to share my story with her, which ended happily in the full recovery of my mother, thanks to Bert Hellinger's insights into the nature of so called mental illness.

I care passionately about spreading a different understanding of mental illness which I know can lead to full recovery in many cases. to share their family stories about mental illness, I will gladly respond because 

More about this topic next time.

You are most welcome to write to me if you have any family members with mental illnesses. I will answer all your questions.