form can one participate?
There are three ways:
1.) as a member of the
circle, participating as an observer who supports the whole group with love and
and good wishes for all
2.) as a representative in someone else's family
3.) having your own constellation
1.) As a member of the circle you are asked to
be present, with an open heart for all. Just put your own .values and ideas
a little in thr background, so you can be open to just see, hear, feel what
is happening before you. If at all possible we like you to remain in the room for
the length of one person's session.
For every session you can of
whether you want to be present or not. Just being a witness, without any
goals, you are helping to provide an atmosphere of
trust, so whatever wants to come out,
can safely do so.
Now you begin to
experience constellations in a way that is very safe for you.
recommend this as a first step anyway.
Even this observing participation often affects people in a way that
they begin to understand aspects of their families and themselves more
2.) Representation.Then as a next step, whenever you feel
comfortable to do so , you can make
yourself available to represent a person in someone else's family.
From this position,
you often have an even deeper experience, now not so much of the whole
constellation, but of what it is like to feel someone else's
3.) Your own constellation. After having witnessed some constellations, and perhaps represented
others, you will know whether you want to do a constellation about your own family.
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kind of events leave their marks on later generations?
I will just briefly answer this here:
Anything that caused deep, painful
loss that has not been reconciled until now.
More in a future edition. Below is an extensive page on the kinds of
trauma that make themselves felt down the generation. It is amazing what
blind spots we have. Therefore it can be helpful to read a long list.
Suddenly your body might respond to something.
What causes problems in our
I will just say a few sentences. Many of the problems we have
are not really our individual ones.
rather been passed down often for many generations.
So a person might have some inexplainable fears that make no sense
to them, because they
have not experienced anything that relates
to this feeling.
Someone from an earlier generation suffered,
and a later born family member feels the pain,
understanding what it is on about.
This is one of the many situations where treating the fear as the
individual's personal fear does not bring resolution.
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is a constellation retreat at Gayatri like?
is a place tucked away in nature. So we have very little disturbance.
We aim for starting at 10 am. If you can, come earlier for a cuppa
with the others,
so you already feel at home.
will feel very welcome. We begin with a little quiet time, perhaps
with a theme. People who would like to have a constellation will
already have contacted me away from the group, so we can get into
between constellations we might have a break, depending how
long the constellation was.
is always a happy lunch together. The person whose constellation
it was often likes a bit of contemplative time, so they might lie
down in the hall and just absorb what they experinced.
them to it. Sometimes a friend sits quietly with them. No talking,
because the processing must be allowed to work deep inside.
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sit or lie down in a comfortable quiet place.
close your eyes.
time to let your face smile. Savour the feeling.
how your breath goes in and out through your heart.
on letting your face smile. Let it smile more and more.
this smile extend to your heart.
Feel your heart smile back to you.
your heart and your head form a loving union.
the happy restfulness,
this exercise as often as you wish,
whenever you have a few moments.
After a while, you will feel very beneficial changes for yourself.
of migrants to Australia
Most people did and do not
emigrate for the fun of it. Where there is relative peace and prosperity,
most people may like to travel and live elsewhere for a time, but their
belonging to their country and culture usually outweighs the sense of
adventure in the long run. Australia is an example for that.
But some ancestors were
even forcefully taken away. Others had to escape war and
The more traumatic the
circumstances were, the more affected some family members will be,
including us perhaps, or some of our family members.
On top of the trauma they brought
along, new layers were added on to them in their new country. For now I
will focus on what they brought with them.
To begin with, for the early
settlers the journey was very perilous. Many died on the way, and there
are plenty of stories of the dead being thrown over board.
Stories of healing
with the ancestors
people who still live in, or are in close contact with, a country where
their ancestors had lived for many generations, usually know a fair bit
about their history, and they have some ancestors that they are particularly
interested in. Constellations are then a way to get to know them more
One member of our group did not really know how adventurous she appeared
to the rest of us. But through a representative a marvelously enterprising
and adventurous distant aunt appeared. This gave her a great trust to be
able to start fresh in life and go for something she loves doing.
This could also be about a certain trait that they share with this
ancestor, it could be the joy about a great gift.
Or we might trace an illness that developed in a certain generation
because of a trauma that happened then. In our body we might sense
a milder version or just a little complaint that reminds us of
events from long ago.
Example: In a family practically all living offspring suffered from bowel
problems. Without having that reference in mind, at some point one younger
member asked an older one, why great-grandmother had died so young,
at age 46. She died from bowel cancer after the loss of a child. In a
constellation the great-grandchildren in that family met her.
Everyone now mourned her death, and mourned with her and welcomed the dead
child, and her children told her how much she was missed.
The bowel symptoms mellowed and disappeared over time.
If we live far away from our ancestorsí homeland, and our people had to
leave in larger numbers, we may experience great sadness, or/and
great anger at times,
which is really the result of political events on a lager scale. Sadly,
these feelings of anger, and of being victimized, get then also played out
in the family. So if we have less than peaceful family relationships, if
temper flares up easily, our ancestors, or at least some of them, really
did have a hard time.
So in this context, constellations can heal warfare as it is reenacted in
Example: A older woman came, her husband had taken after her with an axe. She was
in deep shock and stayed in a womenís shelter. They seemed to be a
lovely couple, and the husband did not understand how he could have done
that. They were Scots, and especially the wife took her homeland
everywhere with her.
We took them back in history, and as so often with the Scots,
we ended up deep in history, at a time when battles were fought
The husband suddenly understood where theses feelings and impulses came
from. With deep emotions, he met some of his ancestors, and they found
peace with their opponents. After some time away both knew, she could
safely return home to her beloved husband. He awaited her in a very neat
and tidy house, with flowers and a lovely meal, and beautiful Scottish
Where people left their homeland and family by themselves or just with
very few others, due to incidents that happened in the family, or due to
separation from them that were beyond the familyís control, their
offspring may have a sense of not belonging and feeling isolated. There
can be deep depression, and a marriage may break up because the isolated
partner cannot change, the pain is too great.
Example. A woman in her fifties barely remembered her father. She was very young
when she last saw him. Her mother did not and would not talk about him.
After a couple of constellations she got enough information to find her
fatherís family in eastern Europe. She was greeted like a long lost
child. The family still lived in the village where her father got
separated from them as a teenage boy. She had come home, in a way also for
her father, and with him. Even
though she finally was told he was dead she had her father back, and she
could visit his grave, and already planned a next visit to her relatives
in eastern Europe. So on the soul level we need to go back home and
reunite with everyone, especially the one(s) who left. This connection
really changed her into a much more lively and adventurous person who
could show her Slavic warmth easily now. For the first time in her life
she felt complete.
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