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Click any of the topics to read 
What is a constellation retreat at Gayatri like?
 
Where can constellations help?   
In which form can one participate?  
 
  Inner exercises   
What causes problems in our relationships?
 
Ancestors of migrants to Australia

 

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Where can constellations help?

People can join a family constellation group to look at any problem in themselves,  in their personal lives, in their family and even in larger groups they belong to.

Internal problems and symptom

Do you carry feelings of guilt, of being burdened, of failure, of deep grief, a lack of belonging, 
or do you have fears you don't even understand?
Do you sometimes feel that life is just too hard?

Family

Any difficult relationship can be looked at, also illnesses.
Are some of your family members "missing"? Do you miss them? 
Are you aware of very painful events in your family, and somehow you feel they might be affecting you?

Mental illness

Is there mental illness in your family? Or behaviours that you find difficult to handle?

Partners

Have you ever wondered why you have the same experience in relationships over and over 
again? No matter who hard you try, your relationship does not improve.

Children

Do you have a child about whom you worry a lot, for whatever reasons?

All other kinds of relationships can be explored as well, 

Such as relationships in our workplace, in organizations, 
conflicts relating to different political persuasions or religions,  even concerning our country.

If you have a business  or some kind of project, 
and you feel somewhat stuck with it.

You can also consult constellations about something in the future.

There can be constellations about animals, about houses, and really, there is no limit. 
Constellations are about all our relationships.
And our life consists of relationships

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 In which form can one participate?

There are three ways: 
1.) as a member of the circle, participating as an observer who supports the whole  group with love and ..   respect and good wishes for all 
2.) as a representative in someone else's family
3.) having your own  constellation 

1.) As a member of the circle you are asked to be present, with an open heart for all. Just put your own  .values and ideas a little in thr background, so you can be open to just see, hear, feel what is  happening before you.  If at all possible we like you to remain in the room for the length of one person's session. 

For every session you can of course decide, whether you want to be present or not. Just being a witness, without any goals, you are helping to provide an atmosphere of trust,  so whatever wants to come out, 
can safely do so. 
Now you begin to experience constellations in a way that is very safe for you. 
We recommend this as a first step anyway. 
Even this observing participation often affects people in a way that they begin to understand aspects of their families and themselves more deeply.

2.) Representation.Then as a next step, whenever you feel comfortable to do so , you can make yourself available to represent a person in someone else's family.  
From this position, you often have an even deeper experience, now not so much of the whole constellation, but of what it is like to feel someone else's feelings.

3.) Your own constellation. After having witnessed some constellations, and perhaps represented others, you will know whether you want to do a constellation about your own family. 

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What kind of events leave their marks on later generations?

I will just briefly answer this here: 
Anything that caused deep, painful loss  that has not been reconciled until now.
More in a future edition. Below is an extensive page on the kinds of trauma that make themselves felt down the generation. It is amazing what blind spots we have. Therefore it can be helpful to read a long list. Suddenly your body might respond to something.

  www.family-constellations.org/family_questions.htm


What causes problems in our relationships?

Today I will just say a few sentences. Many of the problems we have are not really our individual ones.
They have rather been passed down often for many generations.
So a person might have some inexplainable fears that make no sense to them, because they 
have not experienced anything that relates to this feeling. 
Someone from an earlier generation suffered, and a later born family member feels the pain, 
without understanding what it is on about.
This is one of the many situations where treating the fear as the individual's personal fear does not bring resolution. 

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What is a constellation retreat at Gayatri like?

Gayatri is a place tucked away in nature. So we have very little disturbance. 
We aim for starting at 10 am. If you can, come earlier for a cuppa with the others, 
so you already feel at home.

You will feel very welcome. We begin with a little quiet time, perhaps with a theme. People who would like to have a constellation will already have contacted me away from the group, so we can get into it.

In between constellations we might have a break,  depending how long the constellation was.

There is always a happy lunch together. The person whose constellation it was often likes a bit of contemplative time, so they might lie down in the hall and just absorb what they experinced. 
We leave them to it. Sometimes a friend sits quietly with them. No talking, because the processing must be allowed to work deep inside.

 

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Little inner exercises

Just sit or lie down in a comfortable quiet place.

Gently close your eyes.

Take time to let your face smile. Savour the feeling.

Sense how your breath goes in and out through your heart. 

Keep on letting your face smile. Let it smile more and more.

Let this smile extend to your heart.

Feel your heart smile back to you.

Feel your heart and your head form a loving union.

Enjoy the happy restfulness,

Do this exercise as often as you wish, 
whenever you have a few moments. 
After a while, you will feel very beneficial changes for yourself.

 

Ancestors of migrants to Australia

Most people did and do not emigrate for the fun of it. Where there is relative peace and prosperity, most people may like to travel and live elsewhere for a time, but their belonging to their country and culture usually outweighs the sense of adventure in the long run. Australia is an example for that. 

But some ancestors were even forcefully taken away. Others had to escape war and persecution.

The more traumatic the circumstances were, the more affected some family members will be, including us perhaps, or some of our family members.

On top of the trauma they brought along, new layers were added on to them in their new country. For now I will focus on what they brought with them.

To begin with, for the early settlers the journey was very perilous. Many died on the way, and there are plenty of stories of the dead being  thrown over board.

Stories of healing with the ancestors

For people who still live in, or are in close contact with, a country where their ancestors had lived for many generations, usually know a fair bit about their history, and they have some ancestors that they are particularly interested in. Constellations are then a way to get to know them more closely. This could also be about a certain trait that they share with this ancestor, it could be the joy about a great gift.
Example: One member of our group did not really know how adventurous she appeared to the rest of us. But through a representative a marvelously enterprising and adventurous distant aunt appeared. This gave her a great trust to be able to start fresh in life and go for something she loves doing.

Or we might trace an illness that developed in a certain generation because of a trauma that happened then. In our body we might sense  a milder version or just a little complaint that reminds us of events from long ago.
Example: In a family practically all living offspring suffered from bowel problems. Without having that reference in mind, at some point one younger member asked an older one, why  great-grandmother had died so young, at age 46. She died from bowel cancer after the loss of a child. In a constellation  the great-grandchildren in that family met her.  Everyone now mourned her death, and mourned with her and welcomed the dead child, and her children told her how much she was missed.
The bowel symptoms mellowed and disappeared over time.

If we live far away from our ancestorsí homeland, and our people had to leave in larger numbers, we may experience great sadness, or/and  great  anger at times, which is really the result of political events on a lager scale. Sadly, these feelings of anger, and of being victimized, get then also played out in the family. So if we have less than peaceful family relationships, if temper flares up easily, our ancestors, or at least some of them, really did have a hard time.
So in this context, constellations can heal warfare as it is reenacted in the family.

Example: A older woman came, her husband had taken after her with an axe. She was in deep shock and stayed in a womenís shelter. They seemed to be a lovely couple, and the husband did not understand how he could have done  that. They were Scots, and especially the wife took her homeland everywhere with her.
We took them back in history, and as so often with the Scots,  we ended up deep in history, at a time when battles were fought with axes.
The husband suddenly understood where theses feelings and impulses came from. With deep emotions, he met some of his ancestors, and they found peace with their opponents. After some time away both knew, she could safely return home to her beloved husband. He awaited her in a very neat and tidy house, with flowers and a lovely meal, and beautiful Scottish music.

Where people left their homeland and family by themselves or just with very few others, due to incidents that happened in the family, or due to separation from them that were beyond the familyís control, their offspring may have a sense of not belonging and feeling isolated. There can be deep depression, and a marriage may break up because the isolated partner cannot change, the pain is too great.  

Example. A woman in her fifties barely remembered her father. She was very young when she last saw him. Her mother did not and would not talk about him. After a couple of constellations she got enough information to find her fatherís family in eastern Europe. She was greeted like a long lost child. The family still lived in the village where her father got separated from them as a teenage boy. She had come home, in a way also for her father, and with him.  Even though she finally was told he was dead she had her father back, and she could visit his grave, and already planned a next visit to her relatives in eastern Europe. So on the soul level we need to go back home and reunite with everyone, especially the one(s) who left. This connection really changed her into a much more lively and adventurous person who could show her Slavic warmth easily now. For the first time in her life she felt complete.  

 

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